sex, pornography temptations and fqA by: synthia esther

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SEX  ADDICTION AND THE SEX INDUSTRY WILL ULTIMATELY DESTROY YOU. 

JESUS CHRIST  CAME TO HEAL YOUR PAST, YOUR PAIN, SHAME, SORROW, AND DESPAIR. YOU ARE  LOVED BY OUR HEAVENLY FATHER - JOHN 3:16-17 

I WAS A CALL GIRL.  THIS IS MY STORY...

"What God Has Done For Other's He Can Do For You!"

By Susan S.

My lifestyle seemed  glamorous, at first. But after that first night things quickly faded, as  I realized it was just a job. With each client, it took a piece of my  soul and led me to destruction. See, I didn’t know it back then, but  there was a spiritual force (Ephesians 6:12) that was making my  lifestyle look like candy. Candy always tastes good but there is a lot  to be said how bad sugar is for the body. Eventually, my lifestyle led  to the loss of my marriage and my first born son. But it wasn’t that  simple. Eventually, I ended up in jail and I didn’t know who the father  was. My son was just a baby; he was only 4 months. I can still remember  the scent of his baby lotion. His new crib had barely been slept in. He  was my shoulders comfort. 

The worst day of my  life was 20 years ago. To this day it brings tears to my eyes, every  time my memory takes me back in time to when I surrendered him to  adoption.  I cried my heart out for the next 20 years of my life.  This  was my consequence, the raw stuff, the real deal of my addiction. That  candy tasted sour and I no longer wanted it in my mouth. Ever! 

So this is where the  happy the story ends. Get real and live happily ever after. That’s how  it’s supposed to go, right? But what happens when that candy is tempted  in your face for the next breathing years of your life, then what? How  far do you go to achieve your dream of not eating it? 

My friend, you  cannot do it without God. I would be lying to you if I told you that you  would never again be tempted. It is a continual, work in progress with  learning new habits and behaviors. It has been said that dieting is a  life-long change, not just a short term diet. I thought that was where  my life had ended. But that was where my life began. God knew all that  it would take to finally break me to bring me to my knees…. with my eyes  up and toward Heaven. I chose the road that led me into that jail. God  chose the road that led me out.  I encourage you to endure and pray this  prayer below.

FORMER CALL GIRL'S PRAYER...

Lord,

Help me to accomplish not  giving into my addiction. I’m tired of this scene and I want this more  than anything. I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only  You can transform me. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes  to be one without Your help.  Take my urges, temptations, questions,  tiredness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness,  long-suffering and willingness to bear all things.  Take my old  emotional habits, mind sets, and automatic reactions and make me  patient, kind, gentle, self-controlled, not envious or boastful, nor  arrogant or rude. Show me how love does not demand its own way (1  Corinthians 13:4-7). Give me a new heart and work within me to love the  life you’ve given me, and all things that you created me to be.  

Show me where there is sin in my  heart, especially with regard to giving into this temptation.  I confess  the times when I've just wanted to put this issue aside and go back to  my old, familiar ways.  Rescue me from the threshold of separation where  the realities of temptation begin.  Make me my companion’s helpmate,  champion and friend.  And if my journey should lead me to confusion,  show me what unconditional love really is.  Teach me to accomplish  loving only my best friend and how to be successful at it.  

Make me a new person, Lord.  Give  me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship  with the second chance you've given me.  Help me to see my current  relationship with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new commitment  and new compassion.  Give my helpmate a whole new companion, and Lord;  let it be me. 

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

By  Synthia Esther

"Why does my sexual drive plague me?" 

Each  of us has an inner spirit that tells us when we are doing something  wrong.  The more we ignore the inner Holy Spirit's conviction and  witness, the softer it speaks to us.  Until one day it doesn't speak at  all.  It is as if the volume is turned off.  Without the Holy Spirit's  warning system within the heart and mind, there is no conviction.  

It is then that we are most  susceptible to the powers of darkness as we continue to feed our flesh  and fuel our mind's thought processes with sin filled pleasure.  God's  still small voice of warning is ignored, being replaced by faulty sexual  programing such as pornography.   You may convince yourself "What's the  harm?  I'm not hurting anyone.  No one will ever know." 

GOD'S BIBLICAL WARNING:

Proverbs 5:21-23, "For a man's  ways are in full view of the Lord, and He examines all his paths.   (22)  The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin  hold him fast.  (23)  He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by  his own great folly."

Sex  addict's have grandiosity at their heart's core.  Listen to what the  word of God declares about such self-seeking, self-serving,  bias behavior...

"And  you felt secure in your wickedness and said, 'No one sees me,' Your  wisdom and your knowledge, they have deluded you; For you have said in  your heart, 'I am, and there is no one besides me.'  But evil will come  on you Which you will not know how to charm away; And disaster will fall  on you For which you cannot atone, And destruction about which you do  not know Will come on you suddenly."  -  Isaiah 47:10-11

Yes, we as Christains are covered by God's grace and mercy.  However, if  we truly are repentent we will daily die to our sins.  We will also  "flee" from situations that may cause us to be tempted.  For many sex  addicts to flee such temptation means no television, no computer, no  going to the store alone due to the temptation to buy a pornography  magazine.  

You may have to make a job and/or career change, seek 24/7  accountability, and any other changes deemed necessary in resisting  sexual temptation.  A sex addict explained his confession process; "I  was addicted to sex,cybersex, pornography,prostitutes, and quit for a  while, but now am struggling with sexual lust and temptation again.   This is what works for me, and I am going to do it again starting  "tomorrow" right after confession.  Whoo-hoo, yeah, my sin is covered by  grace!"   This is an example of wicked false repentance. 

 The grace of  God is given upon true repentance of sin. "The highway of the upright  avoids evil; he who guards his way guards his life" - Proverbs 16:17.   "The Lord detests the thoughts of the wicked, but those of the pure are  pleasing to Him" - Proverbs 15:26.  Be forwarned.  God will not let your  sin continue without HIS holy intervention. Your sins will find you  out!  "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His  precepts have good understanding" - Psalm 111:10.  Faith without works  is dead.  Willingness without action is fantasy.  No one can serve two  masters.  Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be  devoted to the one and despise the other... - Matthew 6:24.   

"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but  whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."  -  Proverbs 28:13

"But  among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any  kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy  people.  Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking,  which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.  For of this you can be  sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person - such a man is an  idolater-has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God." -  Ephesians 5:3-5

Your actions prove your seeded behavior programs.  What you seed you  feed.  Do you keep secrets from your spouse or significant other concerning  your sexual activities?    Do you lead a double life?    Are you looking for sexually arousing pictures, articles, people, places  and things?  Do you find yourself thinking about sexual fantasies with other women,  men, infants, children, young teenagers, or animals? 

 Do you think about having sex with other people when you are with your  spouse or significant other, because they no longer excite you?  Do you distance yourself form your spouse right after having had sex  with her/him?  Do you use and abuse your spouse performing "Body Masturbation"  (essentially using her/his body to masturbate while thinking of someone  else), instead of intimate, love bonding sex? 

 Do you find yourself seeking out new sexual highs through dating and  social networking sites, pornography, cybersex, strip clubs, massage  palors, and/or prostitutes?  Do you often feel shame, guilt, remorse, and are you burdened by your  sexual obsessive compulsions and acting out? 

 Do you feel your life is chaotic and out of control, hopelessly consumed  by your sex drive?  Does your obsession with sex and your behavior contradict your moral and  spiritual beliefs?  Do you take high risks going places, doing things that could hinder your  current relationship as well as your spiritual relationship with God?    

Are you in fear of your spouse or significant other finding out who you  really are?  Does your sexual or romantic behavior ever leave you with a feeling of  hopelessness, detactched and alienated from others?  Do you feel suicidal due to your sexual compulsions?  Is your preoccupation with sex taking up more of your time?  Is your job  at risk?    Have you ever been arrested or could be arrested due to sexually acting  out?  Eamples being voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, incest,  pedophilia - sex with children, bestiality - sex with animals, stalking,  up-skirting, rape, murder, snuff or crush videos, sexual torture,  etc...?  

Do you spend money to pay for sex or buy and collect pornography, sex  magazines, or blow up dolls made for sex?  Do you compartmentalize your emotions and relationships?  Do you often experience inner rage, or manifest anger and rage, hit or  physically, emotionally abuse your spouse or significant other?  Do you manipulate, deceive, lie, cheat to get sex?  Do your conversations with others contain sexual jokes, sly remarks or  comments about sex?  

Does your sexual behavior, habits seem to be escalating and controlling  your life?   Do you feel unstable, emotionally void, bored, incomplete, without your  sexual fantasies and acting out?    Do you feel your entitled to indulge in your sexual obessesive compulsive  behaviors?   

Do you seek out of town and state jobs in order to conceal your secret  double life?  Have past relationships ended due to your sexual behavior and  compulsions?   Do you feel you are asexual, with no sexual feelings?   Do you feel shame about your own body, sex organs, or sexuality?  

 If you answered yes to any of these questions I encourage you to read and study  our free, in depth educational articles pertaining to sex and pornography on the www.sexhisway.com website., from a born again Christian perspective.  As always, God's word should always be our guide in life, and you will find many supporting Biblical principles relating to this very sensitive subject matter.  Jesus Christ truly is  is the Bondage Breaker!

Are you addicted to the sexual hunt?  Are you a sex, love or romance  addict in search of a new sexual conquest?  When a person lays a  foundation of sexual lust as their primary relationship guide, they will  "never" experience the true unity of love between husband and wife the  way God intented it to be.    "In the paths of the wicked lie thorns and snares, but he who guards his  soul stays far from them." - Proverbs 22:5  Remember,"What you seed, you feed" - Synthia Esther.   

 Or as Dr. Faye Snider states, "What we imprint, we repeat."   After years of seeding and feeding your sexual lust, marital sex cannot  compare with the fantasy.  Nor can a vagina compete with the tight grip  of the hand used during solo-sex masturbation.  When masturbating to a sexual fantasy, pornography or image, the orgasm  experienced serves to anchor or reinforce the deviant fantasy.  I site  R.J. McGuire, et. al, Sexual Deviation As Conditioned Behavior, Behavior  Research & Therapy, 1965: vol. 2, p. 185.   

 According to McGuire, "As a man repeatedly masturbates to a vivid sexual  fantasy as his exclusive outlet, the pleasurable experiences endow the  deviant fantasy with increasing erotic value.  The orgasm experienced  then provides the critical reinforcing event for the conditioning of the  fantasy preceding or accompanying the act."  There is a simple  solution.  Don't plant, water, and cultivate the wrong seed into your  heart, mind and soul.  You can change what you feed upon. Feed upon God's word, for it is  living and active. When you feed on HIS word, day and night, seeking HIS  wisdom (Proverbs Chapter two, three, and four), you will find God's  providential truth, wisdom, and knowledge.

 "The Triumph Plan"    

THE TRIUMPH PLAN:  The first step to over coming your temptation and addiction to fantasy,  lust, and deviant behavior is to admit you are sexually enslaved and  addicted.  You can't change what you don't acknowledge.    How long have you indulged your sexual obsessive desires?  How many  years have you programed your mind with lust, objectified women/men,  children, and even animals for those within the stronghold of  bestiality?  

How long have you played instant recall and visualized your  fantasies?  How long have you had sex with your wife, while thinking of  sex and pornography idols? This is called "Body Masturbation."  These  are satanic strongholds on your heart, soul, and mind.  God can heal you  from addiction strongholds in the blink of an eye.  However, He knows  your heart, mind and soul, and whether you would once again yield to  sexual lust and temptation.  

 Jesus Christ defeated sin on Calvary's Cross.  He is the bondage breaker  in that He rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into  the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the  forgiveness of sins - Colossians 1:13.  In order to overcome sexual  temptation, truth (no secrets Eph. 5:11-12), love and obedience to God's  word must prevail. 

 To obey is better than sacrifice - 1st Samuel  15:22.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you - James 4:7.  We  resist Satan by standing firm in our faith, being self-controlled and  alert - Peter 5:8-9. Alert is defined as being in a condition of  heightened watchfulness or prepration for action.  A readiness, warning,  signal to be attentive. We strive to live a sanctified life, lead by  the conviction of the Holy Spirit and armed for battle with the power of  God's word.  

Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that  comes from the mouth of the Lord.  Know in your heart that as a man  disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.  You will  reap what you sow in life.  Observe the commands of the Lord your God,  walking in His ways and revering Him - Deuteronomy 8.  You have to  master your lustful spirit.  You cannot have "eyes" full of adultry and  never stop sinning.  

You cannot mouth boastful words..."I have prayed to  God to heal me of sexual lust but He hasn't" and/or  "I have tried a  twelve step program, counseling but it didn't work for me."  You are  feeling sorry for yourself playing the victim to your own self inflicted  sin.  You cannot continue to indulge in your sin and fleshly temptation  and not suffer guilt once you know the truth.  A man is a slave to  whatever has mastered him - 2nd Peter 2:19. 

 If you have escaped the  corruption of the world with all its short term pleasure, and know our  Lord and Savior Jesus Christ but are again entangled in it and overcome,  you are worse off in the end than at the beginning!  It would have been  better for you not to have known the way of rightesouness, than to have  known it and then turn your back on the sacred command passed onto you.   Of them the proverbs are true: "A dog returns to its vomit" and "A sow  that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud" - 2nd Peter 2.  

 If you have lived your life this way it is time to draw the line in the  sand, never crossing over it again.  If we claim to have fellowship with  God yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth - 1st  John 1:6.  The choices you make today are the realaties of tomorrow!   The triumph plan is simple, run from temptation just like Joseph did -  Genesis 39:11.   

Are you angry with God because you are tempted?  No temptation has  seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; He will  not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are  tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under  it.  Sexual temptation is common to man.  No one takes your penis out of your  pants and sticks it where it doesn't belong. 

 You are the one who  decides by your 

own freewill to go to prostitutes, and/or view  pornography and act out sexually. It is you alone who commits these  crimes of evil.  God is not going to remove temptation from your life,  as He has provided you with the freewill to flee from it!  Listen to  what the Lord told Cain, "Why are you angry?  Why is your face downcast?   If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?  But if you do not  do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you,  but 'you' must master it." 

 Instead of listening to God's advice and  instruction Cain went out into the field in anger and rebellion,  attacked his brother Abel and killed him - Gen. 4.  Was God to blame for  Cain's sin by not removing Abel from Cain's course of evil, murderous  intent?  This is the message you heard from the beginning; We should  love one another.  Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and  murdered his brother.  And why did he murder him?  Because his "own"  actions were evil and his brother's were righteous - 1st John 3:11-12.   

No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed  remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God  - 1st John 3:9-19.  To love God is to obey His commands - 1st John 5:3.     YOU MUST MASTER YOUR SIN.  Faith without works is dead.  

God isn't going to zap you into shape.  He  expects you to zap yourself in spiritual obedience to His word, which  is your strength! "For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper  than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and  spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the  heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight.  

Everything  is uncovered and laid bare before Him to whom we must give account" -  Hebrews 4:12-13.  "Those who live according to the sinful nature have  their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in  accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit  desires.  

The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by  the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful man is hostile to God.  It does  not submit to God's law, nor can it do so.  Those controlled by the  sinful nature cannot please God" - Romans 8:5-8.  Sin and rebellion  against God begin and end in the mind.  In order to defeat sin we are to  renew our minds with the word of God.  "How can a young man keep his  way pure? By living according to your word" - Psalm 119:9.   

You submit and surrender your life and will to God, living according to  His word.  "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might now sin  against you" - 119:11.   "I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect  your word" - 119:16.  "Let your eyes look staight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.   Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.  Do not  swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil" - Proverbs  4:25-27.  "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" -  Proverbs 4:23.  GOD HAS PROVIDED YOU A WAY OUT.  IT IS UP TO YOU TO TAKE HIM AT HIS  WORD.   

 I don't really have an addiction to sex and pornography. There is no harm in just looking is there?   

If you look in lust, you partook.  Matthew 5:28, "But I tell you that  anyone who looks at a woman lust-fully has already committed adultery  with her in his heart."  What you see with your eyes is a gateway to the  mind and soul.  Your seeded memories color your outlook, and the world  in which you live. When you change the way you look at people and  things, the things and people you look at change.   

 Instead of looking with sexual intention, you see humanity and the world  around you through the eyes of God's holy love and spiritual  significance.  The girls and women your lusting after are someone's  daughter.  The boys or men your lusting after are someone's son.  They  are God's children, who are special in His sight.  Not an object to be  used and abused.  Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ  Himself? - 1st Corinthians 6:15.  Don't you know that you yourselves  are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?  If anyone destroys  God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you  are that temple - 1st Corinthians 3:16-17).  We are God's temple.  

Make a decision to love, not lust. Repent today, for tomorrow may be too late! 

 Copyright -  Synthia Esther.  All Rights Reserved.