THE JUDAS PRINCIPAL - ADDICTION & DENIAL - TEMPTATIONS TRAP

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Matthew  26:23-25,  Jesus replied, "The one who has dipped his hand into the  bowl with me will betray me.  The Son of Man will go just as it is  written about him.  But woe to the man who betrays the Son of Man!  It  would be better for him if he had not been born."  Then Judas, the one  who would betray him said, "Surely not I rabbi,"  Jesus answered, "Yes  it is you."  

Judas  was addicted to money, and all it could afford him.  We are made aware  of his vice following the incident of Mary pouring expensive perfume  called nard onto Jesus's feet, wiping His feet with her hair.   Judas  objected stating, "Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to  the poor?  It was worth a year's wages."  He did not say this because he  cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money  bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it - John 12:1-7. 

Was  Judas, one of twelve disciples, a lesson to Christians that there could  be people with character and integrity issues even among the  leadership (Acts 20:30-31)?   We are not to look unto men for salvation, but Christ  alone.   For men may fail you, but our Lord and Savior never will.  Nor  does His word fail to guide us in wisdom and understanding, for it is  like Him, forever constant, Holy and pure. 

AN ADDICT NOT ONLY BETRAYS OTHERS...HE BETRAYS HIMSELF

Motivated  by greed, addicted to financial gain, Judas sold Jesus out for thirty  silver coins (Matthew 26:14-16).  People who want to get rich fall into  temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that  plunge men into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root  of all kinds of evil (1st Timothy 6:9-10).  When Judas, who had betrayed  Him saw that Jesus was condemned to death he was seized with  remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priest and the  elders proclaiming, "I have sinned for I have betrayed innocent  blood" (Matthew 27:6-10).  

This  money was now blood money, and against the law to put into the  treasury.  The blood money reference to law, many theologians claim,  comes from the application of Biblical scripture in Deuteronomy 23:18,  "You must not bring the earnings of a female prostitute or of a male  prostitute into the house of the Lord your God to pay any vow, because  the Lord your God detests them both." 

Judas  not only betrayed Christ, he betrayed himself as well.  His stinken  thinkin was so fixated on thirty pieces of silver, he gave no  thought concerning his actions nor the dire consequences that could  ensue.   His betrayal of Jesus with a kiss seemed sweet and innocent.   Yet in the end his dark and evil addiction caused death, as he went away  and hanged himself (Matthew 27:5).  There are many who underestimate  the effect of sin.  Make no mistake, the wages of sin is death (Romans  6:23).

What we  focus on we become.  Are you watching pornography?   Dr. Charles  Stanley of "In Touch Ministries" states, "Your feet take you where your  eyes have already been."  

We know  that we have come to know Him if we obey His commands.  The mans who  says, "I know Him," but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the  truth is not in him.  But if anyone obeys His word, God's love is truly  made complete in him.  This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims  to live in Him must walk as Jesus did. - 1st John 2:3-6 

 Devious  pretense is clearly not God's mandate.  In Jeremiah 3:4-5, the people of  Judah were described as willing to proclaim God their Father and friend  while still doing all forms of evil.  Their walk did not match their  talk, only pretending to return to the Lord while their hearts were far  from Him.  God calls us to walk in obedience to His word, will, and  ways.

HOW DID JESUS WALK AND LIVE?

In obedience  to the will of His Heavenly Father - God.   Listen to Jesus's words  concerning following God's will, which ultimately lead Him to His death  on Calvary's cross, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me;  yet not my will, but yours be done." - Luke 22: 42.    Jesus gives  us instruction to do the same.  "If anyone would come after me, he must  deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever  wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me  will save it.  What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and  yet lose or forfeit his very self?  If anyone is ashamed of me and my  words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory  and in the glory of the Father and of holy angels." - Luke 9: 23-26.   

 We as Christians are to "surrender" our life in obedience to God, His  word, and ways.

SANCTIFICATION - PROCESSED PROTECTION

For God  so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever  believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life - John  3:16.   Jesus Christ died on Calvary's Cross to redeem all of humanity  from their sins.  This is God's salvation plan.   As a Christian, you  were washed, sanctified, and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus  Christ and by the Spirit of our God - 1st Corinthians 6:11.  You are not  your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your  body - 1st Corinthians 6:19-21. 

You  were taught with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old  self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new  in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be  like God in true righteousness and holiness - Ephesians 4:22-24.

Therefore,  I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as  living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act  of worship.  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,  but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able  to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect  will - Romans 12:1-2.

Let us  behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not  in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy.   Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think  about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature - Romans 13:13-14.

Flee  from sexual immorality.  All other sins a man commits are outside his  body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body - 1 Corinthians  6:18.

When  tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me."  For God cannot be  tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone;  but each one is tempted  when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.  Then,  after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is  full-grown, gives birth to death - James 1:13-15. 

For the  kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.  What do you  prefer?  Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle  spirit?" - 1st Corinthians 4:20-21 

FATE?

If you  have happened upon this website by mere accident (we prefer to call it  God's fate), for with the creator of the universe there are no  accidents, we want you to know: "You Are Loved!"  Jesus loves you! -  John 3:16   We love you, and are praying for your very heart, mind, and  soul.  Jesus Christ is the answer to all your problems in life.  He  truly is the bondage breaker.  Whom the Son sets free is free indeed.   Remember this, Jesus Christ is faithful and true.  

As you turn the  corner and repent, God will help you.  He is a friend upon whom you can  depend.  Faith without works is dead.  Take a stand for  Righteousness...and God will bless you.

Living your life for Jesus  Christ also offers protection for your family, your children.  What you  do and do not do matters.   Repent today, for tomorrow may be too late!  Seek Him while He may be found - (Isiah 55:6).

Copyright - 2008-2022,   Synthia Esther.  All Rights Reserved.  

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James  5:16, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another,  that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man  availeth much.”

Isaiah  1:17,"Learn to do good, seek justice; rebuke the oppressor."   A sex  addict living a double life of sin is the oppressor, as most every  betrayed spouse will confide.  Rebuke the behavior, do what is right,  and seek justice with your spouse.  Accountability, honesty, integrity,  living a holy life pleasing to God.

By Synthia Esther

6/16/2014 - Update: July 28, 2021

Your  secret, sexual double life is a sin against the Lord (2 Samuel 12:13),  and your spouse. As love is to be without dissimulation, which means not  to hide under false appearance. We are instructed by God to abhor evil,  and cleave to that which is good (Romans 12:9). Being kindly  affectioned one to another with love, in honor preferring one another  (Romans 12:10). 

Love works no ill, and therefore is the fulfilling of  the law (Romans 13:10). A new commandment I give to you, that you love  one another; as I have loved you, ... all will know that you are My  disciples, if you have love for one another (John 13:34-35). 

You show  love for your spouse when you desire to live in authentic Christ  centered character.

Sex addicts living  life on the down low have skewed psychosocial and spiritual thought  processes. The darkness of living a secret double life of sin is both  self evident and destructive, and far removed from Jesus Christ's  example and instruction of love. A commonly used description of this  skewed mindset within addiction communities has often been titled,  “stinking thinking”. The Biblical explanation of lack in spiritual and  mental clarity and sins affect is referred to as the “blind mind”(2 Cor.  4:2-6).

 Whatever terminology one may use to describe an addict's  destructive belief system, they are skewed when denying disclosure of  their sin filled double life isn't a necessary action towards living a  life of spiritual integrity and renewal. Everything in our life must be  held together by the truth of God's light. Without sins confession and  disclosure, truth remains forever buried in sin. 

“You will reap what you sow” - (Gal. 6:7-8, Rom. 6:23)

We reap what we sow  (Gal. 6:7-8; Romans 6:23). Our guilt is not hidden from God (Ps. 69:5;  Jere. 16:17), all sin grows in secret darkness (Job 24:13,15,17; Isa.  29:15-16; Isa. 28:15; Ps. 139:11-12, Jere. 23:24). Admitting sin  strongholds on your soul yields fruit. As sincere, repentance, and  surrender to God is the first step towards spiritual, emotional,  physical, health and renewal. “Let the wicked forsake his ways, and let  him return unto the Lord (your part in repentance) and He will have  mercy upon him; and to our God for He will abundantly pardon (God  confirmed results)” - Isa. 55:7. 

King Solomon was a  glutton for sexual lust and sin (Ecclesiastes 2:10). His harem of 700  wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3), did not satisfy the longings  within his soul and ultimately lead to his spiritual failure. His wives  turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to God  (v.4), incurring God's wrath (v. 9). Solomon's end resolve confirmed,  all such searching was “vanity of vanities” (1:2), and it is best to  “Fear God and keep His commandments” (12:13).

We are to walk  honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in  chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envy, making no provision  for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof while casting off the work  in darkness, putting on the armour of light (Romans 13:12-14). Cling to  your faith in Christ and keep your conscience clear in order that your  faith will prosper (1 Timothy 1:19).  Be honest in your evaluation of  yourselves (Romans 12:3).  

For who may climb the mountain of the Lord  and stand in His holy place? Only those whose hands and hearts are pure  and free of lies (Psalm 24:3-4).  Disclosure of a double life of sin to  one's partner is commanded by God (James 5:16).

 The seeking of  forgiveness from your partner follows a walk in commanded righteousness  as you seek to edify the other with a desire to reestablish peace, and  joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17,19).  In a restored covenant  relationship (1 John 1:5-7). For we are to overcome evil with good  (Romans 12:21).  Look at those who are honest and good, for a wonderful  future awaits those who love peace (Psalm 37:37).  

Let us not forget,  that those that know to do good, and don't follow through in doing good,  are living a life of sin - James 4:17. If you think you are living a  life of a Christian while indulging in viewing Pornography,  masturbating, and looking for sex outside of a committed, marital  husband and wife relationship, you are spiritually dead wrong. The back  slider in heart shall be filled with his own ways is very true – Prov.  14:14. Your heart deceives you (2nd Peter 2:21: Heb. 8:12; Amos. 4:11-12; Rev. 3:16).  

Confession  is a required process of turning back towards God, “ Whosoever  therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my  Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him  will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.” Matt. 10:32-33. 

Put that in black and white, you say? “These things are written.” - 1st John 5:13.

“I acknowledge my  sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess  my transgressions unto the Lord; and thous forgavest the iniquity of my  sins.” - Ps. 32:5 

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from our unrighteousness.” 1st John 1:9

“Therefore turn thou to thy God; Keep mercy and judgment, and wait on thy God continually.” - Hosea 12:6

“If thou return to the Almighty, thou shalt be built up, thou shat put away iniquity far from thy tabernacles.” - Job 22:23

“And he is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.” - 1st John 2:2

“Character is what you are in the dark” - Dwight L. Moody

Bill  Bright is the author of the book, “Living Supernaturally in Christ”. In  chapter 11, page 137, Bright writes, “Our world is hungry for people  who exhibit integrity and honesty. ….God wants His children to reflect  the character of Christ.” He relates the story of Paul Gustave Dore, a  famous 19th century artist, who lost his passport while  traveling in Europe. He pleaded with the guard to allow passage, to no  avail. To resolve the matter the guard pointed to some nearby peasants  and asked Dore to sketch them. Dore penciled a masterful rendering of  the peasants that confirmed his identity. Like Dore, our actions paint a  picture of who we are.  

As  Christians, we are God's workmanship, created to do good works, which  God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Being honest,  seeking forgiveness, puts off the “stinking thinking” old self  (Ephesians 4:17-5:21; Philippians 2:3-4), taking a walk in humble faith  to obey God in Holy righteousness. What Satan meant for harm, can be  turned around for good (Genesis 50:20). God blesses those who are gentle  and lowly (Matthew 5:5).

The  confession of your betrayal will be difficult for your spouse to deal  with, as any and all betrayal is. However, by giving the gift of truth a  ray of hope shines in the darkness, and a positive step towards healing  and restoration of purity and intimacy is achieved. While some partners  of sex addicts may have reached a breaking point of no return, with a  “too little too late” resolve. I have met many others who believe the  confession was not only a gift, but a life saving factor within their  marriage. Often going through self introspection with help from  Christian counseling. 

The key? God's power to change people rather than  our power to influence the resolve and control the outcome. 

This  too is a test of faith and reliance on God to see you through no matter  the outcome. All sin has consequences. Satan is a powerful enemy, who,  through the course of your secret, sexual double life you welcomed into  your life with open arms. Once you freely confess your sins our all  powerful God helps you defeat the strongholds that held your life  captive. You are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of  God, doing those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life  (Romans 6:22). 

Confession and repentance is the first step towards  living a victorious, overcoming life (Galatians 5:16-17). For there is  no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). 

Copyright, 2014 – 2022,  Synthia Esther. All Rights Reserved.

The  masquerade of pretense is often seen when a person is caught living a  double life in the web of sin, asks for forgiveness without a contrite  heart of true, genuine, repentance. Often heard is an apology that falls  far short of being truly sorry for the harm they have caused. “I'm  sorry, I hope I can stop the acting out cycle next time,” only serves to  reinforce the false AA recovery concept known as “slip ups”. 

Dr. Charles F. Stanley, In Touch Ministries, explains in his article, “What is Genuine Repentance?”, statements  such as: “Lord, I'm really sorry I got caught,” or “God, I really  regret that sin. I hope I can do better next time”, do not indicate genuine repentance. As both are promoted out of guilt or embarrassment, not a heartfelt sense of remorse over the fact that God the Father has been grieved. “Usually, these people have no intention of changing. They just want God off of their backs”, confirms Stanley. To which I add in relation to sex addicts caught living a double life, “They want their spouse off their back too!” 

SLIP UPS CONFIRM A PATTERN OF FALSE REPENTANCE

For a sex addict in  recovery the acceptance of their “slip ups” by their co-dependent wife  and fellow addicts only serves to reinforce the false reality of  habitual sin being condoned by God. Dr. Michael Youssef writes in  Leading The Way, My Journal week 3, June 2014, “The Truth About Sin”.    Youssef states concerning moral tolerance, "Read Romans 6:23. Paul  tells us that sin has a price, and that price is death.  Any sin we  commit ushers decay into our lives. Sexual immorality kills intimacy.  Lying damages integrity. Gossip destroys relationships. Every sin brings  something corrupt and evil into our lives."

Moses  tells the Israelites about God's laws. “This day I call the heavens and  the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and  death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your  children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his  voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life” - Deuteronomy  30:19-20.  

Obedience and disobedience are matters of life and death, says Youssef.

When  you slip up committing yet another sinful action, repeating the same  pattern of choice that brought you to your knees with embarrassment and  shame. You are confirming you do not care, never will care, don't want  to care, and could care less if someone else cares. And you wonder why  death to your relationship is a possible resolve? Sin leads to death.  “Stern discipline awaits anyone who leaves the path; the one who hates  correction will die.” Pro. 15:10 (NIV).  

A “slip up” by its very  definition,  is leaving the path.

DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE?    WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN? 

Notice that blessings and curses extend to our children. Frankly put, sin attracts the devil, and the curses prevail if an addict's “slip ups” prevail. I remember clearly a woman who was pregnant posting on social media concerning her Christian sex addict husband in recovery who continued to have “slip ups”. During  consult, I conveyed according to God's word her husband's habitual sins  would affect her soon to be born child. She refused to believe God's  very word (Ex. 20:3-6; Ex. 34:6-7; Jere. 32:18). Adam's sin affected not only his children, it affected all of humanity. 

One of the most infamous examples of how sex sins affect our children is seen in the lives of David and Bathsheba (2nd Sam. 12:14-31). King David was being voyeuristic as he watched Bathsheba, innocently taking a bath. Instead of looking away, he lustfully watched, sent for her, and they had sex. Both were married to other people. Bathsheba became pregnant with David's child. Trying to cover for his sin, David made sure Bathsheba's husband, Uriah, was killed during war battle. They get married and she gives birth to a son. 

God has His servant Nathan confront David's sin, who has a heart of true repentance knowing he had sinned against God. God forgives but our sin brings consequences. So true with David who reaped the sorrows of his sin through his own son's death. We read this shocking revelation in 2nd Samuel 12:14, “Notwithstanding  this, because you have unquestionably treated Jehovah with disrespect  by this thing, also the son himself; just born to you, will positively  die.” God is the judge of all the earth (Gen. 18:25), and He always works in ways that lead us to true repentance. 

More over, if God had allowed human judges to declare David and Bathsheba's fate under the law, all three could have died. God latter blessed David  and Bathsheba with another son, Solomon, who became David's successor. 

GOD SHOWS MERCY TO THOSE WHO FORSAKE THEIR SINS

“He  that covereth his sins shall not prosper, but he that confesses and  forsaketh shall have mercy” - Prov. 28:13. 

The Lord detests the way of  the wicked, but He loves those who pursue righteousness.” - Pro. 15:9.  

The Lord is close to those who have a broken heart, and saves those of  contrite, remorseful, spirit (Ps. 34:18), who He will not despise (Ps.  51:17). 

When you surrender your will to God in genuine repentance  praying as David prayed, “Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy  loving-kindness; according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies  “blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and  cleanse me from my sin.”- Ps. 51:1-2.  

He is faithful and just to  forgive you of your sins (1 John 1:9). 

Copyright –2014- 2022,  Synthia Esther. All Rights Reserved.