ADDICTION & BETRAYAL

THE JUDAS PRINCIPAL - ADDICTION & DENIAL - TEMPTATIONS TRAP

"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy." -

SATAN COMES ONLY TO STEAL, KILL, AND DESTROY! (JOHN 10:10). JESUS CHRIST CAME TO GIVE US LIFE, MORE ABUNDANTLY! - (PSALM 1:1-3).

Matthew 26:23-25, Jesus replied, "The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to the man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born." Then Judas, the one who would betray him said, "Surely not I rabbi," Jesus answered, "Yes it is you."

Judas was addicted to money, and all it could afford him. We are made aware of his vice following the incident of Mary pouring expensive perfume called nard onto Jesus's feet, wiping His feet with her hair. Judas objected stating, "Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year's wages." He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it - John 12:1-7.

Was Judas, one of twelve disciples, a lesson to Christians that there could be people with character and integrity issues even among the leadership (Acts 20:30-31)? We are not to look unto men for salvation, but Christ alone. For men may fail you, but our Lord and Savior never will. Nor does His word fail to guide us in wisdom and understanding, for it is like Him, forever constant, Holy and pure.

AN ADDICT NOT ONLY BETRAYS OTHERS...HE BETRAYS HIMSELF

Motivated by greed, addicted to financial gain, Judas sold Jesus out for thirty silver coins (Matthew 26:14-16). People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil (1st Timothy 6:9-10). When Judas, who had betrayed Him saw that Jesus was condemned to death he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priest and the elders proclaiming, "I have sinned for I have betrayed innocent blood" (Matthew 27:6-10).

This money was now blood money, and against the law to put into the treasury. The blood money reference to law, many theologians claim, comes from the application of Biblical scripture in Deuteronomy 23:18, "You must not bring the earnings of a female prostitute or of a male prostitute into the house of the Lord your God to pay any vow, because the Lord your God detests them both."

Judas not only betrayed Christ, he betrayed himself as well. His stinken thinkin was so fixated on thirty pieces of silver, he gave no thought concerning his actions nor the dire consequences that could ensue. His betrayal of Jesus with a kiss seemed sweet and innocent. Yet in the end his dark and evil addiction caused death, as he went away and hanged himself (Matthew 27:5). There are many who underestimate the effect of sin. Make no mistake, the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23).

What we focus on we become. Are you watching pornography? Dr. Charles Stanley of "In Touch Ministries" states, "Your feet take you where your eyes have already been."

We know that we have come to know Him if we obey His commands. The mans who says, "I know Him," but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys His word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did. - 1st John 2:3-6

Devious pretense is clearly not God's mandate. In Jeremiah 3:4-5, the people of Judah were described as willing to proclaim God their Father and friend while still doing all forms of evil. Their walk did not match their talk, only pretending to return to the Lord while their hearts were far from Him. God calls us to walk in obedience to His word, will, and ways.

HOW DID JESUS WALK AND LIVE?

In obedience to the will of His Heavenly Father - God. Listen to Jesus's words concerning following God's will, which ultimately lead Him to His death on Calvary's cross, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." - Luke 22: 42. Jesus gives us instruction to do the same. "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of holy angels." - Luke 9: 23-26.

We as Christians are to "surrender" our life in obedience to God, His word, and ways.

SANCTIFICATION - PROCESSED PROTECTION

For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life - John 3:16. Jesus Christ died on Calvary's Cross to redeem all of humanity from their sins. This is God's salvation plan. As a Christian, you were washed, sanctified, and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God - 1st Corinthians 6:11. You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body - 1st Corinthians 6:19-21.

You were taught with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness - Ephesians 4:22-24.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will - Romans 12:1-2.

Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature - Romans 13:13-14.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body - 1 Corinthians 6:18.

When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death - James 1:13-15.

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?" - 1st Corinthians 4:20-21

FATE?

If you have happened upon this website by mere accident (we prefer to call it God's fate), for with the creator of the universe there are no accidents, we want you to know: "You Are Loved!" Jesus loves you! - John 3:16 We love you, and are praying for your very heart, mind, and soul. Jesus Christ is the answer to all your problems in life. He truly is the bondage breaker. Whom the Son sets free is free indeed. Remember this, Jesus Christ is faithful and true.

As you turn the corner and repent, God will help you. He is a friend upon whom you can depend. Faith without works is dead. Take a stand for Righteousness...and God will bless you.

Living your life for Jesus Christ also offers protection for your family, your children. What you do and do not do matters. Repent today, for tomorrow may be too late! Seek Him while He may be found - (Isiah 55:6).

DISCLOSING YOUR DOUBLE LIFE TO YOUR PARTNER – A KEY TOWARDS SPIRITUAL RENEWAL AND GROWTH

DISCLOSURE OF YOUR SEX, PORNOGRAPHY, MASTURBATION ADDICTIONS - THE KEY TO SPIRITUAL RENEWAL AND GROWTH

James 5:16, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

Isaiah 1:17,"Learn to do good, seek justice; rebuke the oppressor." A sex addict living a double life of sin is the oppressor, as most every betrayed spouse will confide. Rebuke the behavior, do what is right, and seek justice with your spouse. Accountability, honesty, integrity, living a holy life pleasing to God.

By Synthia Esther

6/16/2014 - Update: July 28, 2021

Your secret, sexual double life is a sin against the Lord (2 Samuel 12:13), and your spouse. As love is to be without dissimulation, which means not to hide under false appearance. We are instructed by God to abhor evil, and cleave to that which is good (Romans 12:9). Being kindly affectioned one to another with love, in honor preferring one another (Romans 12:10).

Love works no ill, and therefore is the fulfilling of the law (Romans 13:10). A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, ... all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another (John 13:34-35).

You show love for your spouse when you desire to live in authentic Christ centered character.

Sex addicts living life on the down low have skewed psychosocial and spiritual thought processes. The darkness of living a secret double life of sin is both self evident and destructive, and far removed from Jesus Christ's example and instruction of love. A commonly used description of this skewed mindset within addiction communities has often been titled, “stinking thinking”. The Biblical explanation of lack in spiritual and mental clarity and sins affect is referred to as the “blind mind”(2 Cor. 4:2-6).

Whatever terminology one may use to describe an addict's destructive belief system, they are skewed when denying disclosure of their sin filled double life isn't a necessary action towards living a life of spiritual integrity and renewal. Everything in our life must be held together by the truth of God's light. Without sins confession and disclosure, truth remains forever buried in sin.

“You will reap what you sow” - (Gal. 6:7-8, Rom. 6:23)

We reap what we sow (Gal. 6:7-8; Romans 6:23). Our guilt is not hidden from God (Ps. 69:5; Jere. 16:17), all sin grows in secret darkness (Job 24:13,15,17; Isa. 29:15-16; Isa. 28:15; Ps. 139:11-12, Jere. 23:24). Admitting sin strongholds on your soul yields fruit. As sincere, repentance, and surrender to God is the first step towards spiritual, emotional, physical, health and renewal. “Let the wicked forsake his ways, and let him return unto the Lord (your part in repentance) and He will have mercy upon him; and to our God for He will abundantly pardon (God confirmed results)” - Isa. 55:7.

King Solomon was a glutton for sexual lust and sin (Ecclesiastes 2:10). His harem of 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3), did not satisfy the longings within his soul and ultimately lead to his spiritual failure. His wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to God (v.4), incurring God's wrath (v. 9). Solomon's end resolve confirmed, all such searching was “vanity of vanities” (1:2), and it is best to “Fear God and keep His commandments” (12:13).

We are to walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envy, making no provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof while casting off the work in darkness, putting on the armour of light (Romans 13:12-14). Cling to your faith in Christ and keep your conscience clear in order that your faith will prosper (1 Timothy 1:19). Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves (Romans 12:3).

For who may climb the mountain of the Lord and stand in His holy place? Only those whose hands and hearts are pure and free of lies (Psalm 24:3-4). Disclosure of a double life of sin to one's partner is commanded by God (James 5:16).

The seeking of forgiveness from your partner follows a walk in commanded righteousness as you seek to edify the other with a desire to reestablish peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17,19). In a restored covenant relationship (1 John 1:5-7). For we are to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). Look at those who are honest and good, for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace (Psalm 37:37).

Let us not forget, that those that know to do good, and don't follow through in doing good, are living a life of sin - James 4:17. If you think you are living a life of a Christian while indulging in viewing Pornography, masturbating, and looking for sex outside of a committed, marital husband and wife relationship, you are spiritually dead wrong. The back slider in heart shall be filled with his own ways is very true – Prov. 14:14. Your heart deceives you (2nd Peter 2:21: Heb. 8:12; Amos. 4:11-12; Rev. 3:16).

Confession is a required process of turning back towards God, “ Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.” Matt. 10:32-33.

Put that in black and white, you say? “These things are written.” - 1st John 5:13.

“I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thous forgavest the iniquity of my sins.” - Ps. 32:5

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from our unrighteousness.” 1st John 1:9

“Therefore turn thou to thy God; Keep mercy and judgment, and wait on thy God continually.” - Hosea 12:6

“If thou return to the Almighty, thou shalt be built up, thou shat put away iniquity far from thy tabernacles.” - Job 22:23

“And he is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.” - 1st John 2:2

“Character is what you are in the dark” - Dwight L. Moody

Bill Bright is the author of the book, “Living Supernaturally in Christ”. In chapter 11, page 137, Bright writes, “Our world is hungry for people who exhibit integrity and honesty. ….God wants His children to reflect the character of Christ.” He relates the story of Paul Gustave Dore, a famous 19th century artist, who lost his passport while traveling in Europe. He pleaded with the guard to allow passage, to no avail. To resolve the matter the guard pointed to some nearby peasants and asked Dore to sketch them. Dore penciled a masterful rendering of the peasants that confirmed his identity. Like Dore, our actions paint a picture of who we are.

As Christians, we are God's workmanship, created to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Being honest, seeking forgiveness, puts off the “stinking thinking” old self (Ephesians 4:17-5:21; Philippians 2:3-4), taking a walk in humble faith to obey God in Holy righteousness. What Satan meant for harm, can be turned around for good (Genesis 50:20). God blesses those who are gentle and lowly (Matthew 5:5).

The confession of your betrayal will be difficult for your spouse to deal with, as any and all betrayal is. However, by giving the gift of truth a ray of hope shines in the darkness, and a positive step towards healing and restoration of purity and intimacy is achieved. While some partners of sex addicts may have reached a breaking point of no return, with a “too little too late” resolve. I have met many others who believe the confession was not only a gift, but a life saving factor within their marriage. Often going through self introspection with help from Christian counseling.

The key? God's power to change people rather than our power to influence the resolve and control the outcome.

This too is a test of faith and reliance on God to see you through no matter the outcome. All sin has consequences. Satan is a powerful enemy, who, through the course of your secret, sexual double life you welcomed into your life with open arms. Once you freely confess your sins our all powerful God helps you defeat the strongholds that held your life captive. You are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God, doing those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life (Romans 6:22).

Confession and repentance is the first step towards living a victorious, overcoming life (Galatians 5:16-17). For there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

GENUINE REPENTANCE – A TRUE RETURN TO GOD

The masquerade of pretense is often seen when a person is caught living a double life in the web of sin, asks for forgiveness without a contrite heart of true, genuine, repentance. Often heard is an apology that falls far short of being truly sorry for the harm they have caused. “I'm sorry, I hope I can stop the acting out cycle next time,” only serves to reinforce the false AA recovery concept known as “slip ups”.

Dr. Charles F. Stanley, In Touch Ministries, explains in his article, “What is Genuine Repentance?”, statements such as: “Lord, I'm really sorry I got caught,” or “God, I really regret that sin. I hope I can do better next time”, do not indicate genuine repentance. As both are promoted out of guilt or embarrassment, not a heartfelt sense of remorse over the fact that God the Father has been grieved. “Usually, these people have no intention of changing. They just want God off of their backs”, confirms Stanley. To which I add in relation to sex addicts caught living a double life, “They want their spouse off their back too!”

SLIP UPS CONFIRM A PATTERN OF FALSE REPENTANCE

For a sex addict in recovery the acceptance of their “slip ups” by their co-dependent wife and fellow addicts only serves to reinforce the false reality of habitual sin being condoned by God. Dr. Michael Youssef writes in Leading The Way, My Journal week 3, June 2014, “The Truth About Sin”. Youssef states concerning moral tolerance, "Read Romans 6:23. Paul tells us that sin has a price, and that price is death. Any sin we commit ushers decay into our lives. Sexual immorality kills intimacy. Lying damages integrity. Gossip destroys relationships. Every sin brings something corrupt and evil into our lives."

Moses tells the Israelites about God's laws. “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life” - Deuteronomy 30:19-20.

Obedience and disobedience are matters of life and death, says Youssef.

When you slip up committing yet another sinful action, repeating the same pattern of choice that brought you to your knees with embarrassment and shame. You are confirming you do not care, never will care, don't want to care, and could care less if someone else cares. And you wonder why death to your relationship is a possible resolve? Sin leads to death. “Stern discipline awaits anyone who leaves the path; the one who hates correction will die.” Pro. 15:10 (NIV).

A “slip up” by its very definition, is leaving the path.

DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE? WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN?

Notice that blessings and curses extend to our children. Frankly put, sin attracts the devil, and the curses prevail if an addict's “slip ups” prevail. I remember clearly a woman who was pregnant posting on social media concerning her Christian sex addict husband in recovery who continued to have “slip ups”. During consult, I conveyed according to God's word her husband's habitual sins would affect her soon to be born child. She refused to believe God's very word (Ex. 20:3-6; Ex. 34:6-7; Jere. 32:18). Adam's sin affected not only his children, it affected all of humanity.

One of the most infamous examples of how sex sins affect our children is seen in the lives of David and Bathsheba (2nd Sam. 12:14-31). King David was being voyeuristic as he watched Bathsheba, innocently taking a bath. Instead of looking away, he lustfully watched, sent for her, and they had sex. Both were married to other people. Bathsheba became pregnant with David's child. Trying to cover for his sin, David made sure Bathsheba's husband, Uriah, was killed during war battle. They get married and she gives birth to a son.

God has His servant Nathan confront David's sin, who has a heart of true repentance knowing he had sinned against God. God forgives but our sin brings consequences. So true with David who reaped the sorrows of his sin through his own son's death. We read this shocking revelation in 2nd Samuel 12:14, “Notwithstanding this, because you have unquestionably treated Jehovah with disrespect by this thing, also the son himself; just born to you, will positively die.” God is the judge of all the earth (Gen. 18:25), and He always works in ways that lead us to true repentance.

More over, if God had allowed human judges to declare David and Bathsheba's fate under the law, all three could have died. God latter blessed David and Bathsheba with another son, Solomon, who became David's successor.

GOD SHOWS MERCY TO THOSE WHO FORSAKE THEIR SINS

“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper, but he that confesses and forsaketh shall have mercy” - Prov. 28:13.

The Lord detests the way of the wicked, but He loves those who pursue righteousness.” - Pro. 15:9.

The Lord is close to those who have a broken heart, and saves those of contrite, remorseful, spirit (Ps. 34:18), who He will not despise (Ps. 51:17).

When you surrender your will to God in genuine repentance praying as David prayed, “Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving-kindness; according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies “blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.”- Ps. 51:1-2.

He is faithful and just to forgive you of your sins (1 John 1:9).

sex for sale - an escorts trauma drama by: synthia esther

Their families let them down, so did their life choices.... God is with those who call upon His name

A PROSTITUTE'S STORY

Warning: This article contains graphic sexual abuse and content. Parental discretion is advised.

By Synthia Esther

From the office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Office of Justice Program (JJDP), U.S. Department of Justice, Female Juvenile Prostitution: Problem and Response, Second Edition – November 2002, I read the case history of Karen's story. She was one of eight children who was raised by her natural parents in the suburbs of a mid-western city. Karen's father was a strict authoritarian who frightened her, and her mother unfavorably compared her to her sisters.

There was no history of alcoholism or drug abuse in the family, nor any criminal activity. There was also no history of sexual abuse. Karen's parents were not physically demonstrative. Nor did they express their love or affection. In Karen's words, “They always compared everyone to everyone else.”

Karen was 13 years old when she met Mark, who was 18 and fresh out of prison. Mark was the first young man who ever gave Karen any attention. She had played hooky from school that day and met Mark. Karen ended up accepting Marks invitation to go to his brother's apartment. Karen, who was a virgin, ends up being seduced by Mark.

Afterwards he persuades her to engage in prostitution so they could make some money and get a place of their own. Karen believed that this was going to be a one time thing, but the next day Mark put her out on the street once again.

A the age of 14 or 15, she told Mark that she wanted to leave prostitution. He laughed and asked her what else was she good for? One time she refused to go out to work, and he went crazy, banging her head in with a two by four. When Karen was 19, she took off but came back to him. It was then he devised a punishment that was to keep her bound to him for the next seven years.

After having sex with her, he tied her up, took off his belt, and started whipping her. In Karen's words, “I don't know how long that went on and he said, 'You think that's all you deserve?' And I said no” He said, “this hurts me more than it hurts you,” which Karen stated was a typical line he always used, and he grabbed the dog, and the dog knew just what to do. And he said, “This just shows how worthless you are.” “I lost a lot of respect that day. He took pictures of it, and he told me that if I ever left him again that those pictures would be mailed to my family. I stayed with him for almost seven years after that.”

Mark subjected Karen to emotional, physical, and sexual abuse during the 13 years that they were together. Karen states that she did not enjoy sex with her customers. She coped with their sexual demands by disassociating herself from the events. She described leaving her body as a means of survival. She states, “That was a way of knowing that they might have my body, but they're not going to get me.”

Karen and Mark became the parents of five children, ages 6 through 13. When pregnant she was made to turn tricks until her ninth month of pregnancy. She called on regular customers during her pregnancies so as not to have to solicit elsewhere. Mark used threats concerning the children to control Karen. He also threatened to rape her little sister if she didn't come back to him.

At the age of 31, Karen lives with her five children in hiding from her pimp and works as a bookkeeper for a small, non-profit agency in a rural area. Her story is not unusual in the world of prostitution. Millions of victims, many of which are juveniles are kidnapped, seduced or manipulated into a life of sexual slavery, trafficking and human bondage. These precious human souls are abused and used in a business world filled with sexual crime and profit. Businesses that often times promote deceptive scams promising modeling contacts and acting jobs, lure innocent young victims into a life of sexual slavery and human trafficking.

Every person on Earth that promotes pornography and/or prostitution, or purchases it, is aiding and a bedding such crime against the abused souls of humanity. Karen was an innocent and vulnerable child who was in need of love and attention. She became the victim of a segment of the world who are deceptive crafty snakes, filled with evil sin, corruption, greed, power and lust! Humanity, its children, adults, and the animal kingdom, are in serious danger as our world's sexual perverts grow stronger in strength, and more deviant and perverse in the crimes they commit.

Pornography and the prostitution it promotes, was once only available in seedy alleys and dark streets with bright neon lights. Now these vile images are in eye's view of every home, business, hotel or Internet cafe in the world that has computer access. 60% of all web site visits are sexual in nature (MSNBC/Standford/ Duquesne Study, Washington times, 1/26/2000). Pornography producers and participants are hunting our children down as innocent Internet searches lead them to hard core porn and obscene filth. Pornographers disguise their sites (i.e. Stealth sites), with brand names, including Disney, Barbie, ESPN, etc., to entice children (Cyveillance Study, March 1999).

These vile images are infesting our children's hearts and programing their impressionable minds with smut as they innocently soak it in like a sponge. Programmed with pornography's luring temptation, and prostitution glamorized, they too can end up as our next generation of pimps, porn stars and prostitutes.

LORI'S STORY

By Synthia Esther

I met Lori, a tall and slender brunette who seemed happy to be alive, when I went out to dinner with a girl friend. Lori and her female relative were sitting beside us as we were all waiting for an available table. Lori and I began to converse sharing small talk when God impressed within my spirit that she came from a very oppressive and abusive sexual back ground. God also impressed within my spirit, to ask Lori about her troubled past. God knows I did not want to, however, I also knew God had his reasons which I as a mere mortal usually know nothing about.

As the evening progressed the four of us continued to talk preferring to eat at the restaurant bar rather than continue to wait for a table to become available. Eventually, I privately asked Lori had she come from a background of sexual abuse, even though nothing in our conversation lead me to believe that. I prefaced my statement with, “I do not mean to be forward, and you certainly do not have to answer my question.” After what felt like many minutes of her starring at me in shock she replied, “Yes, I have been sexually abused, but how did you know?” I replied, “God told me.” We both sat quietly for a few minutes, before Lori began to tell me her story.

Lori had been sexually abused as a child, eventually went into stripping as a young teen, which lead into her becoming a teen escort and prostitute. Lori felt used and abused by men as long as she could remember. Now married and the mother of two, she was in therapy (which she confided wasn't working), because she and her husband were having problems with sex. In a follow up telephone conversation I had with Lori in July of 2006, she confided, “I fired my therapist when I was told my attitude was stink-in think-in!”

Lori further lamented about the failure of A.A., its 12 step meetings and cult life style, giving personal substantiated examples. I agreed with Lori that her problem was not stink-in think-in, it was stink-in attack and past sexual abuse, which can lead to stink-in-think-in but is usually not the core issue.

Lori's husband complains even though they have sexual relations at least 2 to 3 times a week that it isn't enough sex. I continued to hear her lament on how even when she was pregnant, right before giving birth to their baby her husband was pressing her for a blow job (Lori's words, not mine), before going to the hospital. Lori confided in me recounting the sad, shocking, and painful details of her life's abusive sexual history.

Lori came from a dysfunctional alcoholic home with no one and no where to turn. Her biological mother committed suicide at the age of 25, her step brother committed suicide at the age of 38. Raised and adopted by her grand parents, she was turned over to the police as a runaway on more than one occasion and ended up being Baker Acted (The Baker Act in Florida seeks to rehabilitate runaway children and teens). Released, Lori once again ran away. While living on the streets she eventually hooked up with different men offering brief live in arrangements.

Lori was ganged raped by four men when she was 14. When they were done sexually with her they played Russian roulette with a gun to her head. The click of the gun forever plays in Lori's memories, which in turn caused her to develop Post Traumatic Stress. She started stripping at the age of 16, lingerie modeling at what Lori called “Jack Shops” at the age of 18, by 19 she became an escort and prostitute taking care of herself with the only thing she felt she had, her young body. For those who have paid for sex I invite you to read my reference article, “I Paid For Sex With A Prostitute”.

The escort service she was with had drivers who drove their escort models to their arranged appointments. On this day, Lori had a driver named Randy. This was not Randy's normal job, however a friend told him it was an easy way to make some quick cash. He drove Lori to her appointment, looked at her and stated, “I can't do this.” Randy then gave Lori the opportunity to live with him in his trailer, never asked for sex, but did lay down some rules.

First rule, get a real job (he taught her computer skills that enabled her to get temp jobs). Second rule, go to college, (he helped Lori obtain a pell grant), and she continued her education. Lori paid Randy $100.00 a month, which she states helped teach her to become more responsible. He said positive things about her, not allowing the negative self banter she said about her self, which was programed by members of her dysfunctional family when she was just a young impressionable child.

Randy gave Lori back her self esteem, enabling her to feel like living, thus not becoming another suicide statistic. Randy was the adopted father Lori never had. He was the first person she felt cared and believed in her. He gave her a plan of action, not reaction. She recounts her story of getting her first real job, and going into an alter ego personality, Nina, who was stronger and better able to cope and handle the job responsibilities.

Years later, Lori's mind set is still consumed with having to please her husband sexually because that is what was demanded of her by the many men and Johns she recalls. Lori loves her two children dearly and claims her husband is good to her and the children, however she calls him a “horn dog” who doesn't believe in God. Trusting him completely she feels there is nothing wrong with him viewing pornography and going to strip clubs. Lori was once very involved in church, however, personally knew many of the leaders lead a double life like most of her past Johns, so she lost faith. She feels a dark cloud come over her every time she tries to pray.

I witnessed and prayed with Lori telling her to rebuke Satan in the name of Jesus Christ and His shed blood, every time she felt satanic oppression or a spirit of darkness. I gave her the scripture Jeremiah 29:11, God came to give her a hope and a future, and I reaffirmed God was only a prayer away.

I believe God sent Randy into Lori's life for a rescue mission. There are no accidents with God. He loves us all unconditionally. I asked Lori why she told me her story...at which time she responded in a caring manner, “I want to help those who will listen not make the same mistakes I did.”

God draws near those who call upon His name. If all you can say is Jesus, He is there with you, beside you, and even goes before you. He is the parent you never had, your Savior, your Heavenly Father, your Healer and Friend. He can erase the memories of the gun click in Lori's mind or the lustful desires of pornography and the click of a computer mouse. No need to fear the darkness, for even the whisper or thought of His name ushers in light, love and healing. He is the I AM, He is the everything.

Call on His name...He will not let you down. He will never leave you or forsake you and His love is everlasting. He knows the numbers of hairs on your head, and knows every action and reaction you are going to take. You are His child and He is your Father. By His providential grace, mercy and love He's calling you home (reference story, “My Sacred Journey Home”). For more information on how you can invite Jesus Christ into your life please visit our salvation website reference page, “A Free Gift”.

BIBLICAL HELP IN TIME OF NEED

Jesus Christ cares about your life and the situations that effect you. If all you are able to do is state the name of Jesus, He hears your plea. Scriptural references that have helped me in past situations of distress and difficulty have been Psalm 23 and 91. God's promises are bigger than all your problems.

Lamentations 3:22-25, “Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassion's never fail. (23) They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (24) I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait on Him.' (25) The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.”

Proverbs 4:11-14, “I will guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. (12) When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. (13) Hold onto instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.”

Psalm 12:12, “My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of the Heaven and Earth.”

Psalm 121: 7-8, “The Lord will keep you from all harm – He will watch over your life; (8) the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”

Psalm 144:2, “He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.”

Psalm 145:18, “The Lord is near to “all” who call on Him, to “all” who call on Him in truth."

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SYNTHIA ESTHER MINISTRIES ALSO PROVIDES FREE BIBLBICAL RESOURCES REGARDING RELIGION OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY INDUCTIONS AND CURRENT EVOLUTIONARY POWER OF THE AIR CONSTRUCTED AI ALGORITHEM ANTICHRIST INFLUENCESES:

Synthia Esther was the first Christian outreach to shout the true wake-up alarm concerning the diabolical, demonic,11:11 fake awakening deception (www.sacredpursuit.org) . If you desire to learn more about such science and technological insights in relationship to biblical tend times prophecies, please visit: www.techchronicity.com - Science and Technology induced Oneness Antichrists Doctrines and the New World Order.

Additional Free Synthia Esther Ministries resources include, but are not limited to:

WWW.SYNTHIAESTHER.COM - WWW.SYNTHIAESTHER.ORG,WWW.SYNTHIAESTHER.NET, WWW.SACREDPURSUIT.COM, WWW.SACREDPURSUIT.ORG, WWW.SEXHISWAY.COM, WWW.XXXHISWAY.COM, WWW.TECHCHRONICITY.COM, - AS WELL AS MANY OTHER FREE ONLINE RESOURCES. IF LINKS ARE BROKEN JUST TYPE IN WEBSITE LINKS DIRECTLY AND YOU WILL FIND US.

Synthia Esther Ministries: Reaching the world for Jesus Christ since 2007!