FIFTY SHADES OF GREY IS NOT GOD'S WAY - BY SYNTHIA ESTHER

POWER AND SEX

 - ALGOPHILIA,  ASTHENOLAGNIA,  MASOCHISM AND SADISM - 

By Synthia Esther

Turning  pain into pleasure may first appear in childhood with fantasies of  sexual sadism and/or sexual masochism (Johnson & Becker, 1997).  The  sadistic acts often become a behavior pattern that develops by early  adulthood (APA, 200, 1994).   The pain/pleasure pattern can then hold  longevity.  Sadistic acts of cruelty may stay at the same level, but  most often become more severe over the years (Santtila et al., 2002).   Ronald J. Comer writes in the Fifth Edition of his book "Abnormal  Psychology", pg. 427, "Some behaviorists believe that classical  conditioning is at work in sexual sadism.  

While  inflicting pain, perhaps unintentionally, on an animal or person, a  teenager may feel intense emotions and sexual arousal.  The association  between inflicting pain and being aroused sexually sets the stage for a  pattern of sexual sadism.  Behaviorists also propose that the disorder  may result from modeling, when adolescents observe others achieving  sexual satisfaction by inflicting pain.  

     'The many sexual magazines, books, and videotapes  in our society make such models readily available (Seto, Maric, &  BGarbaree, 2001; Lebegue 1991).  There are also specialty clubs like the  Power Ex-Change Club in San Francisco and The Green Door in Las Vegas.   Psychodynamic and cognitive theorists view people with sexual sadism as  having underlying feelings of sexual inadequacy; they inflict pain in  order to achieve a sense of power or control, which in turn increases  their sexual arousal (Rathbone, 2001).  

Gloria  G. Brame, William D. Brame and Jon Jacobs wrote the book "Different  Loving" giving first hand personal insights into the D & S  lifestyle, which even comes with a warning label.  It reads; "Readers  should not attempt any of the activities described in these  pages."  Ifantilism, depersonalization, spanking, flesh hooks, genital  piercing, scarification are just a few of the many topics covered.  Algophilia,  the arousal from experiencing pain, Asthenolagnia, arousal from  weakness or humiliation, Masochism, the ability to transfer emotions of  pain to erotic feelings, and Sadism, the empowerment or arousal from  injuring others, all play in various ways, a part in the human psyche of  Dominant and Submissive participants.

DANGEROUS INTENT - TOPS DISEASE

Role playing, bondage, violet wands (a device used for  the application of low current, high voltage with min 10kV to max 50kV,  high frequency), torture, and pain are often a part of the Dominance  and Submission (D/s),  interplay of customs, rituals, power and  control.   Doms (male), Dommes (female), and Masters (a higher level  Dominate of a strict order), with their submissive slaves, are said to  agree on a "Safe Word" to be used as a safe guard for both physical and  emotional boundaries.  

Other considerations in the D & S lifestyle,  or play scene, can include consent and slave contracts which expound on  the mutual agreed upon limits and boundaries.  Dominant's are also  regarded by some D & S participants as teachers.  Sexual  objectification of submissive slaves, detachment, victimizing, and a  lack of empathy by a dominant master turned ego manic, is termed as  "Top's Disease", as they begin to view themselves as infallible.  This  grandiose, egocentric, omnipotent mindset has been at the core of many  dominant's turned evil, with skewed self-image, shallow emotions, and  dangerous intent.   Such personality processes produce an abnormal dark affect, with a lack of emotional depth.  

     Alfred Adler (1870-1937), the founder of  individual psychology, coined the term inferiority complex to describe  people who have feelings of inferiority and compensate for them with a  drive for superiority.  Controlling others may help reduce personal  inadequacies - Criminology, Ninth Edition, Larry J. Siegel, pg. 152.    Jeffrey Dahmer satisfied his need for power and control through his  sexual longings by picking up boys and young men for sex, whom he then  drugged and tortured.   Eventually Dahmer killed his victims and  dismembered their bodies.  He so desired submissive partners, he would  try to turn some into living zombies by injecting acid into their  brains.    

When police searched his apartment they found "five dried and  lacquered human skulls and a barrel containing three male torsos; an  electric saw stained with blood, and a drum filled with acid which  Dahmer had used to dissolve his victims bodies.  In the freezer was a  human head and a box containing human hands and genitals.  The meat was  neatly wrapped in the refrigerator, Dahmer later allowed, was also human  - waiting to be eaten the way he preferred it, with mustard" - 100 Most  Infamous Criminals, Jo Durden Smith, pg. 80.  

     Dahmer is not an isolated case.   Dennis Rader,  Albert DeSalvo, Albert Fish, Gary Heidnik, William Heirens, Ed Kemper,  Ed Gein, Ted Bundy, are just a few Americans with sadism at their  core.   Andrei Chikatilo, Russia's most notorious murderer, was a well  mannered schoolteacher.  Between 1978 and 1990, Chikatilo had committed  at least fifty-three murders of women, children and drifters.  Power,  blood, sex, torture and death were his sadistic pleasures.   Chikatilo  was executed in February 1994, by a firing squad.

     Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka have been  referred to as the married Barbie and Ken Canadian Sadist team.  Paul,  the Dom, had a willing accomplice in his wife Karla, as he had her play  the submissive role wearing a dogs choke collar, and submitting to being  strangled with a wire cord to satisfy his sadistic fantasies.  

Both  Paul and Karla took part in drugging their victims, including Karla's  sister Tammy, before committing their horrific sadistic crimes of rape  and murder.  Paul wanted to deflower Tammy, a virgin, and Karla was more  than happy to help him do so, as a present to Paul.   Tammy died during  their crime of sadistic torture, one of many victims.  The  prosecution's 1993 deal with Karla was a 12 year prison sentence in  exchange for her testimony against her husband, Paul.  On Sept. 1, 1995,  Paul Bernardo was convicted on all charges against him.

     Richard D. Davis, 44, of Independence, Missouri  was found guilty of first degree murder in kidnapping, rape, sodomy and  assault in the May 2006 videotaped torture death of 41 year old Marsha  Spicer also from Independence.  Davis and his girlfriend Dana Riley, was  also charged with capitol murder, kidnapping, rape, sodomy and assault  of 36 year old Michelle Huff - Ricci.   According to a CNN report, Davis  showed no emotion as the verdict was read.  Prosecutors say that Davis  and Riley made tapes of the attacks and murders of Spicer and Huff -  Rucci to fulfill Davis' violent sexual fantasies.  The graphic DVD  recordings showed Spicer's death.   Jackson County Prosecutor Tammy  Dickinson told jurors that Davis held Spicer down at his apartment while  Riley sat on Spicer's face and smothered her.  Defense attorney Tom  Jacquinot urged jurors to find Davis guilty of second degree murder as  the slaying was not planned but instead Davis became caught up in his  own horrible fantasies about killing.  

     Cameron and Janice Hooker kidnapped Colleen Stan  (aka Carol Smith), who spent the next seven years as Cameron's slave.   Janice and Cameron even had sex while Colleen hung suspended above them  after enduring a brutal beating and torture session.  Cameron had a  voracious pornography addiction that included S & M torture and  violence and was fond (according to news reports), of "The Story O".     As Cameron's slave, Colleen was locked in ventilated wooden boxes,  tortured, electrocuted, beaten, repeatedly assaulted and made to live in  a wooden box crafted by Cameron underneath the couples water bed.   Janice gradually started seeing the light, as she read the bible and  began attending a Nazarene Church.  She then helped Colleen escape  Cameron's grasp, sadistic torture and emotional brainwashing.  Cameron  Hooker was found guilty of ten felony counts, including rape, and other  sex offenses.  He showed no emotion when read his sentence.  

SYNTHIA ESTHER DEFINES THE "S & F" FACTOR OF ADDICTION

  The few examples quoted of lust murders are not  informal fallacies pertaining to the documentation of possible top's  disease nor are they of converse accident.  When one person desires or  strives to gain sexual power over another, or submits to another in  sexual servitude, they usually experience an emotional and physical high  as they learn to equate humiliation and pleasure from pain.   As an  example I relate the D & S activity of using enemas and golden  showers (urinating on another person), which after repeated practice, no  longer achieves a desired erotic high for the participants. 

 A been  there done that mindset of the sexually addicted can and often does  continue to escalate in order to maintain or gain a new sexual plateau.   In this case perhaps the activity would escalate to include fisting, or  hand balling (the penetration of the anus or vagina with a hand or  fist), which is a medically dangerous activity.  The  need to rely on heavy, high risk erotic power exchange, termed as "Edge  Play" according to those involved within the D & S lifestyle,  becomes what I define as the "S & F" Sexual Addiction Factor.  

     "By visual, mental, and repeated physical  anchoring and reinforcement, usually by organism, a paraphilia is  seeded, implanted and programed into a person's psyche .   The S &  F  Sexual Addiction Factor is that which you seed, and imprint within  the mind and body, is that which you desire to feed in order to maintain  the growth and ecstasy of the implanted, imprinted seed.  This in turn  allows a person to obtain a continual, auto-erotic processed mind  program which produces more often than not,  a dissociated, trance state  of consciousness that can be induced by thought or transmitted by  sound alone, even when not being physically acted upon.   Once  a psychological seed program is intact, the mind feed program within  the psyche takes on a life of its own, with uncontrollable psychological  triggers" -  Synthia Esther.   

     I site R.J. McGuire, et. al, Sexual Deviation as  Conditioned Behavior, Behavior Research & Therapy, 1965; vol. 2, p.  185.  According to McGuire, "As a man repeatedly masturbates to a vivid  sexual fantasy as his exclusive outlet, the pleasurable experiences  endow the deviant fantasy with increasing erotic value.  The orgasm  experienced then provides the critical reinforcing event for the  conditioning of the fantasy preceding or accompanying the act."  

This  sexually deviant masturbatory conditioning response can endow any  deviant fantasy.  Rape, molesting children and animals, sexual abuse,  torture, incest, and the list goes on ...   A few other references  supporting deviant masturbatory fantasy significantly affecting the  habit strength of the subjects sexual deviation can be found in the work  and research done by: D.R.Evans - Masturbatory Fantasy & Sexual  Deviation, Behavioral Research & Therapy, 1968: vo. 6, pg. 17.  B.T.  Jackson - A case of Voyeurism Treated by Counter Conditioning,  Behavioral Research & Therapy, 1969; vol. 7, pg. 133.

HURTING PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE

Getting high from a sexual fantasy come true offers an  endorphin rush, filled with the chemical interplay of altered states of  consciousness, which has often been referred to as "Subspace" by those  within Sadomasochism circles.  This "physical drug rush" can evolve  and involve restraint, torture, mental and physical abuse, snuff  (killing the human victim while video taping their death), or crush  (using your feet as a weapon, while wearing high heels to crush and  stomp an animal to death), by those with criminal intent.  

Phillip Miller and Molly Devon's book, "Screw the Roses, Give Me The Thorns - The Romance And Sexual Sorcery Of Sadomasochism," (pg.  5), "We have a creed that we follow in S & M: Everything we do must  be safe, sane, and consensual."  While Miller and Devon's book relates  such honored sentiments, they also admit in psychiatric parlance there  are abusive people out there called wacko's, yet they proclaim the  things done to each other are solely in the divine spirit of love and  lust (pg. 6).   Since when was lust a divine spirit?   They also tout  concerning D & S (pg.3), "This is a world in which the greatest  kindness resides within cruelty."  As applied to  people, cruelty encompasses abuses, outrageous, and inhumane treatment  that results in the wanton and unnecessary infliction of suffering upon  the body or mind - Farlex Free Dictionary.  The American Heritage  School Dictionary defines being cruel as liking to cause pain or  suffering; unkind; merciless: a cruel man.   Abuse and merciless do not  read like kindness to me.  As is most often the case, hurting people,  hurt people!   So exactly who are the wacko's out there?

SUBMISSIVE REVENGE

Power and control both physically and/or mentally are  not limited to D & S relationships.  An abusive dominant partner can  be seen in many relationships, be it work, marriage, or significant  other, where their partner or spouse assumes a submissive, passive,  role.  Domestic violence is often a result of such power plays of human  indignation.  Mary Winkler shot her husband Mathew, the Pastor of Fourth  Street Church Of Christ, in Selmer, Tennessee on March 22, 2006, in the  back while he was sleeping in bed.   Mary Winkler, 33, states on tape  while crying during questioning by Alabama officials; "Its just a lot of  stupid stuff.  I love him dearly, but gosh, he just nailed me in the  ground.  The first of our marriage I just took it like a mouse, didn't  think anything different.  My Mom just took it from my Dad, that stupid  scenario."   Mathew had a pornography addiction,  and often required his timid, submissive wife to wear a wig and sexy  platform high heels like the women prostitutes and porn activist he  often watched.  He also made her submit to sexual activity she never  felt comfortable doing.   Mary Winkler was found guilty of voluntary  manslaughter. 

SEX AND THE SPIRITUAL CONNECTION

     People who turn to God as their loving, caring,  warm, helpful, dependable friend, are found to be less lonely,  pessimistic, depressed, or anxious than people without any religious  beliefs or those who view God as cold and unresponsive (Koenig, 2002;  Bergin & Richards, 2001; Clay, 1996).   According to Gene  Stainbrook, Ph.D., M.P.H., from the Center for Health Promotion,  Research and Development at the University of Texas, "There are  indications that helping others makes you happier and healthier."    According to clinical psychologist Robert Mendelson, Ed.D., "Liking  yourself gives you the emotional strengths you need to be able to give others."        

Self-actualization  and transcendence begins within our lives as we look at our own  feelings and emotions, thoughts and behavior, realize we have a sin  based nature in need of God's saving grace, mercy, and love *(John  3:16-17).  In simple terms we seek the right path in life.  Psalm  25:4-5."Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to  follow.  Lead me by your truth and search me."   We no longer flaunt our  authorty for we know by Christ's example (He gave His life on the Cross  of Calvary, rose again on the third day, so we might live), whoever  wants to be a true leader must be a servant (Matthew 20:25-26). 

Those who place power and control, submission and  dominance, master and slave relationships at the forefront of their love  life, are stagnating their internal growth process by fueling their  needs and desires from the emotional energy of others.   They are  striving to achieve deficiency needs from without, instead of from  within their spiritual core.   Love is patient,  love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It  is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps  no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with  the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always  perseveres.  Love never fails...and now these three remain; faith, hope  and love.  But the greatest of these is love - 1 Corinthians 13:4-13. 

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God  is love.  This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and  only Son into the world that we might love through Him.  This is love:  not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an  atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we  also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; but if we  love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us. -  1st John 4:8-12.

Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with  all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is  the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it; Love  your neighbor as yourself" - Matthew 22:37-40.

* GOD IS ALL POWERFUL

"For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of  talk but of power.  What do you prefer?  Shall I come to you with a  whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?" - 1st Corinthians 4:20-21.

* If you do not know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, please visit our salvation page on this website:   "A FREE GIFT" 

Copyright - 2007-2021  Synthia Esther.  All Rights Reserved.

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FORMER PRO-DOM TURNED CHRISTIAN GIVES HIS TESTIMONY ABOUT THE BDSM - DOMINANCE AND SUBMISSION LIFESTYLE 

By Synthia Esther 

Synthia Esther : Jerry, thank-you for getting back to me...and...God bless you for speaking the truth about D & S  addiction bondage.

Jerry: I was Dom as a Pro.  True, Pro Doms generally are "NON-SEXUAL" but the  scene still revolves around LUST and much of the play is degrading, and  can be very unsafe and extreme.  There is nothing positive about being  beaten until welts and marks are all or a person from caning, and I  regret I did it!  There are also very unsafe, unclean forms of play that  goes on, and it now disgusts me.  Believe me sister, I have been to  NYC's notorious "Black & Blue Ball" before and I know all of the  players in the biz.  I was very into that scene, and I can tell you  wholeheartedly, that it is demeaning, to both the Dom or the Sub, it  doesn't matter.

Synthia Esther: Jerry, anything you could write and tell me would help...as your opinions come from a first hand basis.

Jerry: I have an issue with porn, and the adult industry in general.  Whether  it's porn, escorting, BDSM/fetish, stripping, etc... the adult  industries do nothing but destroy.  You know Synthia, what hurts me most  is that some of the most good hearted and outgoing friends I ever had,  were Pro Doms and people in the fetish/S &M scene.  It's sad though,  they are doing what they are doing, when they are better than that.    Sure, you can post my testimony on your website.  In Christ's Love,  Jerry.

  JERRY'S TESTIMONY

I became a believer (Christian), near the end of December 2006. Prior to changing my life to follow God,  I lived quite a different life, a life that was wild, in vain,  self-destructive, and with no promise of a future or any peace with life  nor myself. I was once employed in the Adult/BDSM Industry as a  Professional Dom, as well was I also once a Satanist. During the 1990's,  I was a lead singer for a Death/Doom Thrash Metal band in Philadelphia  called "Evil God Revival" which managed to be popular within the region.  Obviously, the band was very satanic themed and anti-Christian, and at  the time I lived a very reckless life. Prior to the band, I also was a  Professional wrestler who graduated from Larry Sharps Monster Factory.  My career as a wrestler was short lived, only 2 years (1989-1991) but  for what it was worth, it was a fun part of my life and I met a lot of  people in that Industry. 

However,  as most of my ventures in life, I still had not found my identity nor  my purpose. I was a very lost man struggling to be someone, always  concerned with what the world thought of me as I had tremendous low-self  esteem and always suffered with Bipolar/Manic depression. I was abused  as a child and young teen, and as many who suffered abuse, I became an  abuser myself, taking my hostilities out on other people. Being manic, I  had severe rage issues in my past, and there were even times in my life  when I had thoughts of suicide.  

I do share my faith with others and am always prepared to  explain why I believe.  While I will never come across with condemnation  toward others, I will however defend my faith. I will defend it because  I believe. Some are bewildered that I now believe in and walk after a God I formerly resented, blasphemed, mocked, and never even was sure  existed, but I do! I believe wholeheartedly that there IS a God, and I  believe what the Bible says about God is true. A decade ago, I had no  regard for the Bible, but now I will defend the Bible no matter what,  and I am NOT ashamed of the God I honor and serve. 

My  becoming who I am was not premeditated in any way, it just happened. I  cannot explain why I would change like this, but I have changed and the  only thing that could cause a man as myself to do such a complete turn  around, is GOD. Yes, God does exist,  make no mistake about it, and I also believe in the Christ! At one time,  I was what I would consider as an agnostic when it came to God, but I was very influenced by the Occult also and I was into a lot of LaVey Satanism.  Later however, I researched Theistic Satanism as well, and other  various paths of spiritualism and occultism including: Golden Dawn,  Theosophy, Western Paganism, Ordo Templi Orientis, and the Keys of  Solomon. But with all of this being so, nothing has awakened my spirit  more so then the living God spoken of in the Bible. I believe with all  of my mind, all of my heart, and all of my spirit, that God does in fact  exist, God is real, and God is ONE. There are no "gods" but the true living God, the one the ancient Hebrews wrote about and spoke about, this IS God!

God is my refuge, God is my comfort, God is my helper, and God is my  encouragement! God provides ALL I need, and it is only in GOD I place my  full trust, dependence, and hope! God is my strength and all things are  possible with God.  Amen .

Synthia Esther Responds: 

Jerry  turned his heart over to the one true God, Jesus Christ.  Only He can save a lost soul in need.   His testimony confirms that no matter  one's past may have been, God forgives.  Indeed we are ALL SINNERS saved  by God's grace, mercy, and love (Eph. 2:8).  God loves you with an everlasting  love.  Nothing is too difficult for God to heal.  Nothing and No  One (even Satan) can separate you from God's love and forgiveness.  Just  talk to God as you would a friend.  For that is what He is, a friend  upon whom you can depend.   May the truth of God's light set you free  from a life of bondage.  May God's peace and love surround you.  I  care.  God care's about "You"!  

What is most obvious concerning Jerry's personal testimony is his care and concern for those still caught up in the sex industry.  They remain in bondage to the S&M addictions because such activities fill a deep void in the life.  While I have personally never been in the sex industry, my life path led me to care and reach out to them in very special ways.  What is most common in many of their personal backgrounds is that their parents were not of the Christian faith.  Many came from very dysfunctional families. For example: One former prostitute I befriend, was placed into the sex industry by her step father!  God only  knows the scope of a sex industry workers secret pain. Please pray for their salvation - because Jesus Christ loves them so very much! (John 3:16-17).

Another most obvious point of truth, is that many sexual  deviants into the S&M life style are also into the occult and  Satanism. Their master only seeks to kill and destroy them (John 10:10).  I invite you to visit my website:  www.sacredpursuit.org, to gleam wisdom and knowledge about such occult - metaphysical, paranormal  deceptions.  What was once termed the New Age occult Movement, has gone mainstream.   Beware. Has God not said that His people are destroyed due to lack of knowledge? (Hosea 4:6).

Copyright - 2008-2022 , Synthia Esther.  All Rights Reserved.