SEX AND PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION - DEFINED, BY SYNTHIA ESTHER

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DEAR MS. PORN

By Synthia Esther

* Dear Ms. Porn is dedicated to the wounded and abused wives or partners  of sex and pornography addicts, and is based on true confessions from  those I have personally interviewed or met in person.

Dear Ms. Porn,

Though you never  knew me, I intimately knew you.  Once I discovered your existence you  managed to shatter all my dreams come true.  Your naked anatomy and  sensual expression is a memory that plays as if on cue.  I had suffered  emotional, verbal, and physical abuse, however, learning of you the pain  was as profuse.

His secret love  affair made everything too complicated to ever call a truce.  I began to  see you everywhere...on television, magazines, bill broads, marquee  signs, grocery stores, movies, videos, and even sacred church.  You  called yourself hot and holy, yet your blatant seduction made me think I  was cursed.  I felt satanic oppression as sweeping depression became my  perch.

Bestiality was a  part of my husband's sexual obsession.  Nellie, our family cat dyed,  which prompted his evil confession.  Innocent children and animals  suffered from his demonic possession.

I faced Ms. Porn  and deeply felt her scorn.  Then I found out about Ms. Prostitution and  swore evil vengeance as my constitution.  My "ex" said you would never  go away.  I finally realized you were in our relationship to stay. There  was no end to his sexual perversion and behavior.   I cried out to God,  "I thought you were my Savior!"

You were suppose to be a sister in Christ, but instead it seemed your heart was the victim of a heist.  

You called me a  jealous Christian zealous, I called you a fake and someone who was  untrue.  Your hooker and escourt ads made me angry and want to stew.   

You use abortion as a form of birth control, more times than a few. You  took my husband's money, while our children's hunger only grew.  Yet you  were smiling and I was still crying forever feeling blue.  I wondered  where was God in all this, for you seemed to not even have a clue.

Feeling defeated and all so depleted, I slit my wrist with a knife to end the anguish and strife.  After an hour I washed the blood off in the shower.  It was then I remembered Calvary's Cross and its power!  Once again the love of God became my strong tower.

Now I pray for the  porn star, the stripper, and the addict.  As they are seeking physical  perfection, instead of God's Holy protection.  

May you find light  in the darkness, ever realizing the starkness, that a life without Jesus  Christ is nothing but harshness. 

 I pray for your sons, your daughters,  and even your pets.  Building a bridge of unity through Christ's love  brings nothing but the best.

Though  my outward  appearance may not be as fair or lovely as you.  I pray you see the  beauty of holy righteousness forever shining true

Copyright - Synthia Esther.  All Rights Reserved.

Sex God's way is  good.  Sex outside of God's ordained righteous order is harmful in many soul felt ways (Hebrews 13:4).   God help our future generations if they cannot see the difference between God's called servants and Satan's vexing entrapments (1 John 3:8)

SEX AND PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION DEFINED

By Synthia Esther 

GUARD  YOUR EYES, SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL, WORK NO EVIL, IN JESUS NAME.   LIVE A RIGHTEOUS AND HOLY LIFE FOR JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND BE BLESSED!

SEX ADDICTION DEFINED:

"Sex  addiction is an uncontrollable need, obsessive desire,  oppressive-escalating craving, and seeking, of sex and/or sexual  activities such as pornography.  Which an addict may compulsively  indulge in, despite negative consequences.  The mood altering latter  stages of addiction produce a neuro-biological long lasting chemical  change within the brain.  These  maladaptive self medicating behaviors are the sex addicts attempt to  ease past and current pain.  The real source of the problem lies hidden  behind the behavior manifestations.'" 

HYPOTHESIS:  "ADDICTION IS AN EXTERNAL RESPONSE TO AN INTERNAL NEED, ACTIVATED BY FREE WILL." - SYNTHIA ESTHER 

Biblical Definition of Addiction:

"When  tempted, no one should say 'God is tempting me.'   For God cannot be  tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone, but each one is tempted when,  by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.  Then, after  desire has conceived, it gives birth to death."  -  James 1:13-15.

The  lack of intimacy bonding and attachment, as well as abuse in the sexual  addicts early formative years, creates a thirst for a fix to fill their  unmet needs of nurture, security, love, affirmation and acceptance.   Jesus Christ is the only person who can fill your void and heal your  broken heart.  Synthia Esther Ministries seeks to provide free, biblical  answers and insight that lead the reader towards repentance, salvation,  sanctification, with keen God inspired spiritual solutions, that  defeat addiction strongholds.

Many   Christian's struggle in secret sin.   Bondage to sex, pornography, and  masturbation, have become strongholds that will ultimately destroy a  person's life as sin thrives on secrets. There is hope!   Jesus Christ  is the bondage breaker who came to set the captive free, breaking the  tie's that bind one's very soul (mind, will, emotions).  

SEX AND PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION CAUSE AND AFFECT:  

Sex  addiction is a false substitute for love, providing a coping mechanism  for inner pain and turmoil.  Feelings of hopelessness abound, as an  addicts secret fantasy life expounds.  It is this escape method of the  mind that Satan continues to use to his destructive advantage.   "He who  works his land will have abundant food but he who chases fantasies  lacks judgment." - Proverbs 12:11.

As  fantasy, rituals, and sexually acting out take over your thought  process, your mind becomes fixated like a heat seeking missile with a  guidance system towards sex.  Almost everyone and everything is  seen through the mind of sexual preoccupation and  provocation.  God  knows the heart, mind and soul of humanity.  Psalm 94:11, "The Lord  knows the thoughts of man, He knows that they are futile."  

Addiction is escalating, and uncontrollable.....

Addiction  is an escalating, often uncontrollable need and desire, which when  acted upon, causes a nero-biological long lasting chemical change within  the brain.  You make excuses for your destructive and irrational mood  swings and behavior, because you don't want to give up your addictions,  nor the coping mechanisms they provide.  You remain in denial concerning  your addictions and the problems they create.  You like what the sexual  lust demons do for you, so you desire to keep them.

You  will continue to do so until your behavior causes you to bottom out,  and come to your wits end.  To continue in your destructive habits is to  ensure your untimely demise spiritually, emotionally, and physically.   You most likely feel unworthy of love, which is central to the addictive  cycle of pain, shame, and remorse.   

Many  people may ask, "How can sex become an addiction without drug  involvement?" 

 Sex is like a drug, in that it releases naturally  occurring peptides such as endorphins, which correspond with the  electro-chemical interactions in the brain.

Dr.  Patrick Carnes writes in his book, Don't Call It Love - Recovery From  Sexual Addiction, "These peptides parallel the molecular construction of  opiates like morphine, but they are many times more powerful.  We know  that when experimental rats are habituated to morphine or heroin, they  will go through much pain in order to obtain more.  However, when the  pleasure centers of the brain are stimulated, releasing endorphins, rats  will go through even more suffering than they will for morphine or  heroin."

Sex  addict's have grandiosity at their heart's core.  Listen to what the  word of God declares about such self-seeking, self-serving,  bias behavior...

Addiction holds the user captive.  Jesus Christ came to set the captive free!

SATAN, AND HIS LURE

Scripture  reveals Lucifer (Satan, the Devil), and his nature, and mission of  deception.  He transforms himself into an "angel of light" (2  Corinthians 11:14).  So true with the mock up of porn stars, models who  are air brushed to perfection with computer enhanced images. Perfect  hair. Perfect body.  Perfect smile and teeth.  Perfect legs, breasts,  and feet with just the right fetish arch!  Angels of fantasy and  delight.  If you were to meet these "fake" beauty's and/or he-men in  real life, most often they could not, and would not, live up to your  expectations. 

Yet  in the world of fantasy, and sexual orgasmic dreams come true, you fill  fulfilled, content, beyond your wildest imagination.  Why is that?  You  have traded the truth for a lie, in one of Satan's master, deception  plans.  Sex is good, when sex is deviant!  Sex is good, when sex is as  wild as fifty shades of grey.  Sex is good when it is illicit!  Yet  after your grand climax, you are left limp, dull, and void!  That is  until the next time you seek to indulge in the fantasy trap of sexual  intoxication.  Such is the trap of the greatest fantasy sex on earth!

I  met a fellow, single Christian male, who just happened to have viewed  my photos online.  A certain flaw caught his attention in one of my  photos (since removed), something simple, like a broken nail, and  chipped polish, and he told me so.  It seemed to bother him.  Strange  behavior for a Christian, I thought.  

The more I got to know this man,  the more I realized (it did not take long), that his actions were not  that of a sincere believer.  He indeed was a fantasy sex addict who  viewed women as objects.  While talking with him by phone, he began to  speak in broken sentences, very strange in tone and inflection, and his  breathing patterns changed.  I suddenly thought intuitively, "He is  masturbating while talking to me on the phone"! 

I  confronted him, and he admitted that he was indeed masturbating, and  viewing my online photos, while we were talking.  His phone sex was a  sin betrayal, and I told him so!  I distanced myself completely from  this man.  He is what I call, "A proclaimed Chrisitian who is in reality a Spiritual Poser!"  Of which there are  many.  

Be aware, as this can and does happen. Christian Home School  advocate and founder of the institute in basic life principals, Bill  Gothard,  was thought by one such female victim, to have done this very  thing.  - Read all about such sex addicts making the news, "Bill Gothard -  Emotional Rape of the Innocent" By Synthia Esther -  www.xxxhisway.com  (as reported by  recoveryingrace.org.)  

When we betray loved ones, and those who are  friends, or even acquaintances, we betray ourselves.  As we will always  reap what we sow (Galations 6:7).  

What does God have to say about this self serving, lust, sin betrayal and behavior?

"Submit  yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from  you.  Come near to God and He will come near to you." - (James 4:7-8)

"In  this same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ  Jesus.  Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you  obey evil desires.  Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as  instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those  who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your  body to Him as instruments of righteousness.  For sin shall not be your  master, because you are not under the law, but under grace." - (Romans  6:11-14).

"Then  He said to them all; 'If anyone would come after Me, he must deny  himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" - (Luke 9:23)

* If you would like to learn more about God's plan of salvation (John 3:16-17),  please visit our website page: "A Free Gift!"

Nothing  is hidden from God.   Luke 8:17, "For there is nothing hidden that will  not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or  brought out into the open."  

"Flee  from sexual immorality.  All other sins a man commits are outside his  body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body" - 1st  Corinthians 6:18.

GOD KNOWS THE SECRETS THAT YOU KEEP!

Sex  addict's have grandiosity at their heart's core.  Listen to what the  word of God declares about such self-seeking, self-serving,  bias behavior...

"And  you felt secure in your wickedness and said, 'No one sees me,' Your  wisdom and your knowledge, they have deluded you; For you have said in  your heart, 'I am, and there is no one besides me.'  But evil will come  on you Which you will not know how to charm away; And disaster will fall  on you For which you cannot atone, And destruction about which you do  not know Will come on you suddenly."  -  Isaiah 47:10-11.

"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but  whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."  -  Proverbs 28:13.

"But  among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any  kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy  people.  Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking,  which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.  For of this you can be  sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person - such a man is an  idolater-has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God." -  Ephesians 5:3-5.

Copyright -  Synthia Esther.  All Rights Reserved.

SYNTHIA ESTHER MINISTRIES ALSO PROVIDES FREE BIBLBICAL RESOURCES REGARDING RELIGION OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY INDUCTIONS AND CURRENT EVOLUTIONARY POWER OF THE AIR CONSTRUCTED AI ALGORITHEM ANTICHRIST INFLUENCESES:

Synthia Esther was the first Christian outreach to shout the true wake-up alarm concerning the diabolical, demonic,11:11 fake awakening deception (www.sacredpursuit.org) .   If you desire to learn more about such science and technological insights in relationship to biblical tend times prophecies, please visit: www.techchronicity.com - Science and Technology induced Oneness Antichrists Doctrines and the New World Order.  

Additional Free Synthia Esther Ministries resources include, but are not limited to:  

 WWW.SYNTHIAESTHER.COM - WWW.SYNTHIAESTHER.ORG,WWW.SYNTHIAESTHER.NET,  WWW.SACREDPURSUIT.COM, WWW.SACREDPURSUIT.ORG, WWW.SEXHISWAY.COM, WWW.XXXHISWAY.COM, WWW.TECHCHRONICITY.COM, -  AS WELL AS MANY OTHER FREE ONLINE RESOURCES.

Reaching the world for Jesus Christ since 2007!
 

WHAT ABOUT MY SEX LIFE?

By Synthia Esther

4/20/2014- Updated July 28, 2021

Copyright - Synthia Esther.  All Rights Reserved.

Sex addicts  often lament, "I work hard, everyday, aren't I entitled to a stress relief that will ease the pressure of life's burdens?  Pornography is my  only indulgence.  When I watch porn, look at porn, and masturbate, it  helps me cope with the boredom and strife of everyday life.  To be  blunt, I do not know what I would do without my private porn stash and  the sexual diversion and excitement it provides.  My  wife doesn't like  to have sex.  Having sex with my wife is like having sex with a dead  fish.  She is cold.  Dead.  Just lays there.  When we do have sex the  planets have to a line, with a quarter moon, so the light is dim.  

Yes, I  am exaggerating, however, sex with my wife is rare, and not at all  exciting.  The lights are out, with the covers pulled over us, in the  same missionary position, every single time.  I have sexual needs and  desires my wife doesn't seem to need, desire, or wish to fulfill.  Where  is the love?  On a side note, I have tried the romance approach, there  is not a medical reason to abstain from sex, she just doesn't like sex!"

What about me?  What am I suppose to do?  Sex is exciting!  Life would not be worth living without a vibrant sex life.

As a preface to these questions and  answers,  lets review what God's word says about adultery.  Viewing  pornography (as well as other sin forms of sexual pursuit, such as  visiting massage parlors, prostitutes), which is seeking sexual interest  with another person outside of the Holy marriage bed, is adultry  (Matthew 5:27-28).   And adultry not only destroys your sex life, it  destroys your marriage!  The intimacy is gone, plain and simple.  

Even  if your spouse doesn't know of your sexual double life, they feel it!   The emotional connection has been lost and your spouse knows this in the  spiritual sense.  While you may think you are getting away with your  sin actions, in reality, you are caught in the spiritual realm.  Your  soul cannot hide your sin. indeed your emotional chaos confirms your  actions each and every day. 

 God allows the "spiritual" realm to be felt  within a God fearing spouse, be they, male or female.   What you want and what God wants come from two different perspectives.   God is concerned with your spiritual growth.  While a sex and  pornography addict is often concerned only with the physical.   Paradoxical as it may seem.  When we live our life  in submission to God's spiritual purpose and plan, the physical  expression of our life becomes more spiritual.  

We are in a war.  The physical wars against the  spiritual daily.  The victor within this war, is the spirit and soul  (mind, will, emotions) of man when allowed to be controlled by God.  God  desires to rule our soul and spirit, and by the power of His Holy  Spirit we learn to allow Him to do so, walking by faith and not by  sight.   

God seeks to rule our heart by changing what we want to do, for  what He wants to do within our life.  In as much, we make a freewill  choice, casting off every weight that besets us.  We must honor Christ  in all areas of our life which includes, but is not limited to, our sex  life.  This is the first step in loving God.  What  do you pursue and desire most in life?  How we use our time, talents,  affections,  determines our course in life. 

 "What we feed, we seed.   And that which we seed, we become" - Synthia Esther.  

Plant your seed in  God's Holy word, will, and ways.  God is His word (John 1:1), and He  alone is worthy.  As I can personally attest, "The power of the gospel  will overshadow your desire for a vibrant sex life." 

Sex is a secondary desire, not a need. If placed in a life or death  situation one would not be thinking about having sex. We must be careful  not to confuse our desires with our needs. Food, water, shelter, are  first priority life and death needs. While men do produce more  testosterone, and crave sex more often than many women. Sex is not a  life sustaining need.  God promises to take care of us, His children.  Proverbs 10:8, Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.  Ecclesiastes  1:8, confirms no matter how much we have we are never completely  satisfied and content. 

 Why? Because we have a sin based nature. When  our soul (mind, will, emotions), becomes hungry. We often feed it with  our sin based desires.  Sex and pornography, drugs,alcohol,video games,  shopping, etc...., instead of feeding our soul God's spiritual food.   Reading God's word is living and active. Prayer, praise, worship, brings  forth the power of God's Holy Spirit, inturn filling you with peace,  joy, contentment. Seeking to help others, giving instead of taking. John  4:14, Those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again.  It  becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within, giving eternal life.  We  learn, with God's help, to redefine our needs and desires. We learn to  see God face to face and be satisfied (Psalm 17:15). God will satisfy  our thirst and instead fill our hunger with good things (Psalm 107:9).   .

Mark 8:34, Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples (Jesus) said,  "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish  ways, take up your cross, and follow me."  Galatians 2:20, "My old self  has been cruified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ  lives in me." So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of  God, who loved me and gave himself for me. When a person comes to Jesus  Christ in complete surrender they want and desire God's will.  While  setting aside self promoting ambitions concerning your sex life. 

 You  learn to work on your own personality problems (spiritual,emotional,  physical), asking God to show you how to best love your wife. While  praying for your marriage, family, and sex life to heal.  Matthew 20:28,  Even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to  give his life as a ransom for many.  1 Corinthians 10:24, Don't be  concerned for your own good but for the good of others.  Philippians  2:3, Don't try to change your wife (the only person you can really  change is yourself), ask God to help you both concerning your sex life,  think of each other instead of your selfish desires.  As James 3:16  confirms, Wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there will be  disorder and evil of every kind.  Give your sex life to Jesus Christ.  He alone will provide you with a "love" that passes all understanding.    

Let me be honest, only your wife can answer this question. I have talked  with many women about their marriage and sex life. Aside from being  tired, because many married women with children are tired and worn out  from the daily grind.  It has been my experience, when a woman doesn't  want to have sex with her husband there is most often a desire not met,  and/or fear involved. Women who have been sexually, emotionally, and/or  physically abused in their past, often fear sexual intimacy. 

Some women  fear getting pregnant. This fear based mind set takes a whole lot of  patient love to overcome. As a partner to your wife, getting past this  fear is a primary first response.  There are also many women who quite  simply don't enjoy the mechanical vibe pertaining to sex, that their  husbands often exude. 

An animalistic approach to sex is not romantic,  exciting, nor filled with love. When a man has sex on his mind (watching  and looking at pornography increases lustful sexual desires), he may  often have a demanding attitude. This too may be a sexual turn off,  physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

 There are also times when  unresolved anger hampers a couples intimacy. All of which could lead  your wife to develop a sexual aversion to having sex with you. God  instructs us to not sin by letting anger control us.  We are not to let  the sun go down while angry, doing so gives a foot hold to the devil  (Ephesians 4:26-27). 

Cleanliness issues aside (one would hope their  spouse would be clean). If a mate has done, or is doing, something that  annoys their spouse (such as watching porn, seeking out sexual liaisons  with prostitutes), or any number of unresolved issues and/or passive  aggressive problems, sex is the last thing on your mates mind! As their  isn't unity within the marriage. While I support Christian  psychological counseling, many married couples cannot afford such  services. In any case, seeking resolve by communication, love, support,  and prayer for God's wisdom (reading God's word), guidance, direction,  provide a first priority, Godly solution.    

Yes. Except for a mutual time of fasting and prayer (1 Corinthians 7:5),  a spouse is suggested by God's written word to have sex with their  mate. I quote 1st Corinthians 7:3-4, "Let the husband render unto the  wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 

 The  wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also  the husband hath not power over his own body, but the wife." God  designed sex to include not only a oneness of flesh (physical), when in  the act of sexual intercourse.  But oneness in intimate, spiritual, and  emotional connection as well. 

Therefore, a house divided against itself  will fall. When a spouse does not build the "soul" of a relationship in  accordance to God's will.  Sex is a bore! When a wife is in conflict  with her husband, and has sex under emotional distress, an aversion to  sex can become the norm. One must seek a oneness with their spouse on  all levels.

 A woman must also relate to their male spouse needs, in that  many males seek sexual expression as a way to connect. Constant  rejection hurts a persons soul as well. Sex is most often the way in  which some men feel comfortable in showing an expression of intimacy.  However, without the emotional, and spiritual connections of sex, the  act is void of connection. 

This is why the husband must work on his own  spiritual, emotional, personality flaws, as well as the wife, in order  to grow and develop a healthy, loving, sex life. Self introspection is  most important. Ever wonder why many men who pay for sex seek the  "Girlfriend Experience"?

 They desire connection, not just sex!  It is a  false connection they are willing to pay for, as they are deceived by  Satan to exchange "lust connections" for true and Holy "intimacy  connections". In the spiritual sense, most men and women need to connect  on levels aside from the physical. Men in the grips of sexual  addiction, simply do not know how to connect other than by physical  expression. They are in the grips of sins pleasure. When one demands sex  from their mate, they miss the expression of intimacy and "oneness" 

 Christ intended for Holy sex to be. You are to love your spouse as  Christ loves the church (His sheep).  Christ died for His lambs. Wake  up! Your self centered sexual desires are really a search for love and  intimacy as God intended. This is more than a physical expression of  sexual interest. 

 When you a line yourself with God's will in accordance  with His word, you will learn to place self sacrifice above your self  interest. Read the Bible and you will discover this for yourself. Your  spouse has a soul. Seek a soul relationship instead of a sexual  relationship, and watch the sparks flow!  This is the way God intended  sex to be.  A oneness of spirit that unites with a oneness of flesh in  sexual physical expression.    

Yes, sex within the Holy bonds of marriage is a very good thing.   However, when one places their sex life above God, sex becomes an idol.   Romans 12:1, Give your bodies to God because of all He has done for  you.  Let them be a living and holy sacrifice unto God, the kind of  which He finds acceptable.

 Our life is not our own. When we give our  life to Jesus Christ, we worship Him in spirit and in truth. If your sex  life is in lack, look to the spiritual cause and reason why this is so.  Temptation in life is a given, but God is faithful.  He will not allow  the temptation to be more than you can stand.  When you are tempted, he  will show you a way out so that you can endure (1st Corinthians 10:13).   Dependence on God's word helps us stay pure (Psalm 119:9). God blesses  those who patiently endure testing and temptation.  Afterward they will  receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him  (James 1:12).    

God created sex, and sex His way, is Holy. Sexual intimacy within  Biblical  marriage (between a man and woman), is ordained by God. When  sex becomes an obsession within our life, God is being replaced with an  idol (see above answer). Idols deplete our spiritual connection to God  and will ultimately, destroy us! Likewise, our marriages are destroyed  by idols within our lives. As love for an idol, replaces the love one  should have for their spouse. A spouse can feel used and abused when the  sex act becomes more important than connecting through physical,  intimacy expression. Sex void of love and intimacy is not of God.    

Sex is a secondary desire, not a need. If placed in a life or death  situation one would not be thinking about having sex. We must be careful  not to confuse our desires with our needs. Food, water, shelter, are  first priority life and death needs. While men do produce more  testosterone, and crave sex more often than many women. Sex is not a  life sustaining need. 

 God promises to take care of us, His children.  Proverbs 10:8, Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.  Ecclesiastes  1:8, confirms no matter how much we have we are never completely  satisfied and content.  Why? Because we have a sin based nature. When  our soul (mind, will, emotions), becomes hungry. We often feed it with  our sin based desires.  Sex and pornography, drugs,alcohol,video games,  shopping, etc...., instead of feeding our soul God's spiritual food.   

Reading God's word is living and active. Prayer, praise, worship, brings  forth the power of God's Holy Spirit, in turn filling you with peace,  joy, contentment. Seeking to help others, giving instead of taking. John  4:14, Those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again.  It  becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within, giving eternal life.  We  learn, with God's help, to redefine our needs and desires. We learn to  see God face to face and be satisfied (Psalm 17:15). God will satisfy  our thirst and instead fill our hunger with good things (Psalm 107:9).   

Mark 8:34, Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples (Jesus) said,  "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish  ways, take up your cross, and follow me."  Galatians 2:20, "My old self  has been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ  lives in me." So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of  God, who loved me and gave himself for me. When a person comes to Jesus  Christ in complete surrender they want and desire God's will.  While  setting aside self promoting ambitions concerning your sex life.  

You  learn to work on your own personality problems (spiritual,emotional,  physical), asking God to show you how to best love your wife. While  praying for your marriage, family, and sex life to heal.  Matthew 20:28,  Even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to  give his life as a ransom for many.  1 Corinthians 10:24, Don't be  concerned for your own good but for the good of others.  Philippians  2:3, 

Don't try to change your wife (the only person you can really  change is yourself), ask God to help you both concerning your sex life,  think of each other instead of your selfish desires.  As James 3:16  confirms, Wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there will be  disorder and evil of every kind.  Give your sex life to Jesus Christ.  He alone will provide you with a "love" that passes all understanding.    

God considers any form of cheating a serious sin.  Leviticus 19:11, Do  not deceive or cheat another. Proverbs 11:1, The Lord detests the use of  dishonest scales, but He delights in accurate weights. Your secret  double life of sin filled sexual addiction provides proof, evidence of  your lack of love for God and your spouse.  As you are thinking only of  your own self centered needs.

When you  cheat on God (and His will for your life), you cheat yourself and all He  has ordained for your life plan. Psalm 101:7, God does not allow  deceivers to serve in His house, and liars will not stay in His  presence.   

The core of our personality is sin based in nature. When we give our  life to Jesus Christ, He empowers us with His Holy Spirit to walk after  righteousness.  Selfishness is destructive. Genesis 13:8-11, provides us  with a spiritual solution towards selfishness. Abram said to Lot, Lets  not allow this conflict to come between us or our herdsmen. As we are  close relatives. The whole countryside is open to you.  Take your choice  of any section of land you want and we will separate. In turn, Lot took  a long look at the fertile plains of the Jordan Valley, which he chose  for himself.  Abram took the higher ground spiritually.  

Another example  of wrong, selfish motives can be read in Genesis 27:35-37, 41, when  Isaac confirmed, "Your brother was here, and he tricked me.  He has  taken away your blessing."  Esau exclaimed, "No wonder his name is  Jacob, for now he has cheated me twice.  First he took my rights as the  firstborn, and now he has stolen my blessing.  Oh, haven't you saved  even one blessing for me?"  Isaac said to his son Esau, I have made  Jacob your master and have declared that all his brothers will be his  servants.

 Esau hated Jacob and vowed to kill him, his own brother.   Selfishness tears families, relationships, apart! Philippians 2:3, Don't  be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others  as better than yourselves. 

Philippians 2:6-8, Though He was God, Jesus  did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, He  gave up His divine privileges, humbled Himself in obedience, seeking  God's will, not His own. In giving yourself completely to God, you learn  to use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the  glory of God (Romans 6:13).

 Galatians 5:13, You have been called to live  in freedom, but not use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature.   Instead, we are to use our freedom to serve one another in love. The  best way to improve your relationship with your spouse is to love her as  Christ loves us. 

God desires us to change our sin based nature, living to become more  like Him, in spirit and in truth.  This means not only a sincere heart  change, but behavior change as well.  Luke 19:8, Zaccaeus stood before  the Lord and confirmed he would give half his wealth to the poor, and if  he had cheated people on their taxes, he would give them back four  times as much! This is putting action behind your words.  For faith  without works is dead. We are to walk the talk, not just talk the walk. 

 When you give your life to Jesus Christ you do not change just to  receive God's approval, but to respond to God's love. When you change  your sexual addicted double life, you are responding to your wife and  children, in love. You make the choice and God will help you make the  change. For God who began this work within you will continue His work  until it is finished and you are united with Him for eternity in Heaven  (Philippians 1:6).  God does not give up on you! It is my prayer you do  not give up on Him.    

Pro. 5:18-19 /  Eccl.9:9 /  Mal. 2:15 /  Rom.7:2 /  1st. Cor.7:3,10,12,13, 39 /  Eph.5:22-25 /  Col.3:18,19 /  Tit.2:4,5 /  1st Pet.3:1-7  .

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