DATING AND RELATING IN ACCORDANCE WITH GOD'S WILL FOR YOUR LIFE, IS AN HONORABLE BLESSED GOAL.

DATING & RELATING WITH GODS WILL IN MIND - BY SYNTHIA ESTHER

RELATIONSHIP RESCUE - WHEN DATES DON'T GO AS PLANNED - SET YOUR AFFECTION ON GOD INSTEAD - COL. 3

Jeremiah 6:16, Follow the path of God, and be blessed!

DATING WITH GOD'S MISSION IN MIND

By Synthia Esther

The book seemed to have just the right cliches and trite answers to one's dating and relating questions. Singles striving to find their "soul mate" bought the book hoping to solve such riddling questions as, "Why men don't call you when they say they will?" "He's just not that into you, move on", being a quick summary of the answer. Seems like common sense to me. So why do so many women, and men, obsess over the obvious, when dating rejection weighs in?

The games people play when dating are too numerous to recount. Striving to figure out the nature of passive aggressive personality types, is a waste of time. What I have found to be common, is that many people strive to avoid conflict. They do not want to have to deal with emotional reactions and problems, so they just quietly disappear. Thank God, and move on, when you meet such a person. For their emotional intelligence and maturity level is very low.

There are also many who date to score sexually. They set the scene, court, charm, flatter, act romantic, just to have a good time, with hot sex being the motive and goal. One night stands are common in such dating and relating scenarios. Many singles are lonely, seek company, and the feeling of being loved, no matter how brief or fleeting. Depressed they haven't found "the right one" they often repeat these same mistakes and enter a state of inertia. Listless, and lacking motivation, when life doesn't seem to work out the way they wish it would.

Crushed dreams and unfulfilled desires are painful. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life." - Proverbs 13:12. The only way out for a sick heart, is to place our hope in Jesus! - (Psalm 42). This does not mean you have to kiss dating good-bye. Rather you seek God's will when dating and relating, and date only those who desire this same, spiritual resolve. Each person we meet, and share time with, is affected by our soul and spirit, testimony and witness. When we strive to share the "fruit of the spirit" (Galatians 5:22-23), peace and kindness qualities of our faith with another, we are blessed by God, who uses relationships to grow us up in Him.

I met a single, Christian male, and we conversed several times. He knew and named dropped many who were all fellow believers within many churches I had attended. He was bold in his witness, claiming Jesus as Lord. After a few in depth conversations, he asked me out, and I agreed. During our first, romantic dinner date, he casually stated his out look about God, was "Spiritual, but not Religious." Immediately a big red flag went off within my spirit, as this was a pat statement that I had come to view as liberal, with New Age leanings.

I questioned, "Do you believe in following God's word?" To which he replied, God's word was subjective and not to be taken literally. A completely different view than what he had previously conveyed. "Walking in the path of God's love is what's most important. Treating people as you would like to be treated shows sincerity", he mused.

Profession of God, Jesus Christ, without the commitment to live out His word, which is God (John 1:1), meant we had little in common. I witnessed to him, relating the spiritual importance and significance of remaining true to God's Holy word, will and ways. When dinner was over, I was surprised when he asked me out again. I thought to myself, "Our spiritual differences do not matter to him, but to me they do, God's will being my top priority".

At which time I politely said no, stating I did not think we were compatible, being unequally yoked in our spiritual beliefs. He became angry, and called me judgmental. When the check came, I put my money where my mouth was,and stated I felt more comfortable if I paid for my own dinner, and he willingly complied.

Now many may think, this date was a complete and total failure. I do not. For I believe without a shadow of a doubt, God ordained this meeting (Romans 8:28). The end result being, this man knew more about the significance of God's word than he did before, and that there are "Christians" within the world who refuse to compromise their spiritual convictions. Dating with a mission in mind is not always easy. However, our witness and testimony for Jesus Christ is never lost (Isaiah 55:11).

Not all our dating experiences as single Christians will be perfect, as planned. Dating provides us with the opportunity to get to know someone, at a deeper level. When we see there are differences spiritually, we should never compromise our faith and beliefs in order to please another. Whatsoever we do, we are to do all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). When met at the cross roads of important life decisions, always travel the God road, which brings peace and blessings! - (Jeremiah 6:16).

* To learn more about God's plan of Salvation (John 3:16-17), please visit our website page: "A Free Gift!"

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WHY UNMARRIED, SINGLE CHRISTIANS ARE HAVING LOTS OF HOT SEX

By Synthia Esther

I know many singles who claim Jesus as Lord, who are having lots of premarital sex! Some of which, readily admit this...it is no deep, dark, secret sin. Many confirm their thoughts being along the line of the song by Salt and Pepa in their album : "Blacks' Magic"- (1990): "Lets talk about Sex, Baby, lets talk about you and me, lets talk about sex!"

Why? Because they believe once they said a simple prayer of salvation that was all they were required to do under God's grace. After all, there are many within religious circles that preach such lies. God, in His word, says otherwise, "go and sin no more" (John 8:11), being one such example.

Sex before marriage is a black magic lust and temptation lure of seduction fueled with Lucifer's trap fish bait (Ephesians 5:5). Which God tells us to flee from! - (1 Thessalonians 4:1-18; 1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

In his book, "The Spirituality That Heals", Michael Youssef writes about God's provision for your soul's deepest needs. On page 77 Youssef confirms, "The closer you get to the flame of the spirit, the more glowing and radiant you will become. The closer you get to the fountain of the Spirit, the more you will overflow with His likeness. The closer you walk with Jesus, the more like Him you will become. And in all ways the joy of the Holy Spirit will infuse you!"

The only way to get close to God is to flee Satan's course for your life, which is filled with death and destruction (John 10:10). Make no mistake about it, sex outside of marriage kills you spiritually as you live a double life of sin. You cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24; Luke 16:13).

SEX USED AS STRESS AND ANXIETY RELEASE

Many people use sex as a stress and anxiety reliever. Youssef writes (page 76), concerning the anxiety that plagues us, and the joy of the Lord when we give our problems to Him. "Joy is not based on having everything under control. Countless people believe they will feel joy if they can just get past the current crisis, pay all their current bills, meet the current deadlines. This expectation is doomed to failure and frustration because joy is not the result of our striving.

Rather, it is the result of letting go of the anxiety that is associated with striving, and instead, trusting God to do His work in us and on our behalf. Joy is found in trusting God to walk through that difficult time with us, to help us with His unlimited resources to meet all the challenges we face, and to work behind the scenes to bring about blessing."

Waiting for sex till marriage is a challenge many do not desire to achieve. However, you are not alone in the process. God, through the power of His Holy Spirit, will help you stop acting out sexually as you take the steps to lean on His word, will and ways (visit www.sexhisway.com for additional free help and Biblical resource). "...God will meet all your your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." - Philipians 4:19.

Sex is not a "need" but a desire, and is to be saved for the marriage bed only, between one man and one woman, as husband and wife - (1 Corinthians 7:2).

You may say, "I have tried to stop having sex outside of marriage, and nothing has changed! Life is a bore without acting out sexually. Furthermore, I do not want to marry someone without knowing whether I am sexually compatible with that person."

Great sex, does not a relationship make! The lust excitement for anyone person will wane in time, and you will be left with incompatibility issues and problems. Emotional intelligence and maturity, requires you to look beyond sex, and see the soul (mind, will, and emotions) of a person, to know if you are truly compatible. One can work on their sexual likes and dislikes, but they cannot change who a person is. Only God can do that! Sex outside marriage, only complicates a relationship.

One only has to look in the mirror and face the person you have become. Which is someone who lives for the next climax. A person who is obsessed with sex, is literally controlled by their penis, vagina, and orgasm. Sex has become an "idol" in their life. Male and female alike, sex will not heal your broken heart. Sex will not provide the satisfaction you desire, without the intimacy God intended sex to be. True satisfaction in life comes only through, and by God.

Sex addict's have grandiousity at their heart's core. Listen to what the word of God declares about such self-seeking, self-serving, bias behavior...

"And you felt secure in your wickedness and said, 'No one sees me,' Your wisdom and your knowledge, they have deluded you; For you have said in your heart, 'I am, and there is no one besides me.' But evil will come on you Which you will not know how to charm away; And disaster will fall on you For which you cannot atone, And destruction about which you do not know Will come on you suddenly." - Isaiah 47:10-11

"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy." - Proverbs 28:13

"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person - such a man is an idolater-has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God." - Ephesians 5:3-5.

Jesus Christ is the bondage breaker! For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit? - 1st Corinthians 4:20-21.

God's promises are bigger than all your problems. His grace is sufficient to meet all your needs. He sent me to tell you how much He loves you. - John 3:16-17. If you would like to learn more about God's Salvation Plan and His grace, mercy, and love, please visit our website page: "A Free Gift!"

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