ROMANCE ADDICTIONS PROVIDE EMOTIONAL HIGHS THAT DON't last

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GOD'S LOVE IS STRONG AND TRUE

By Synthia Esther

5/29/2014 - Update: July 28, 2021.

"You Can Never Find The Ultimate Without Finding The Sacred." - Quoting the late  Christian apologist - Ravi Zacharias(March 26, 1946 - May 19, 2020).

Into romance as your ultimate sexual  outlet?  Many women are just as addicted to romance novels, movies, and  the fantasy they provide as are men addicted to graphic, demeaning,  sex.  No matter your  preference, any and all addictions to fantasy  sexual fulfillment will lead you empty and in search for more.  And it  is an addicts compulsive needs that lead to the use of a substance or  behavior coupled with tolerance and physiological and physical  withdrawal symptoms which best defines the cycling pattern of  the addiction process.  

The Bible holds a realistic outline of the  problems we encounter in life.  It assumes humanity will be tempted to  lust, to covet, to work too much, love money, pursue power, strike out  in anger, to name a few sin vices that can plague us.  As such, God  provided the Ten Commandments as a source and guide that leads us  towards spiritual protection.  Just say "No" is a worthy resolve to  sin's inclinations.  When we do so, we avoid the harm of sin's  consequences. 

 When a  person strives to fuel the lust desires with sin filled pleasures, the  excitement is only brief.  The bible says "Sin is fun for a Season" -  Heb. 11:25.  Sorrow and shame usually follow.  However,  even shame and guilt can be a gift from God if such remorse draws you  back to Him (Ps. 119:5-6), the true lover of your soul and spirit. 

 Ravi  Zacharias states, "You can never find the ultimate without finding the  sacred."  God is the ultimate for He is the "I AM", the beginning and  the end to all you long for.  And by the power and anointing of His Holy  Spirit, He completes you.   His  love is mighty strong and true (Romans 8:38-39).  We know and believe God loves us because we are His Children (1 John 3:1; 4:19).   In turn, we show our love towards God when we keep His commandments, which are are not burdensome." - 1st John 5:3

DOPAMINE – THE MASTER MOLECULE OF ADDICTION AND PORNOGRAPHY'S LINK TO ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION

By Synthia Esther

5/28/2014 - Update: July 28, 2021.

Scripture Reference: Colossians 3:5, 1st Thessalonians 4:3-8

Colossians 3:5,  “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature:  sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is  idolatry.” - NIV

Colssians 3:5,  “Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication,  uncleanliness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and  covetousness, which is idolatry.” (KJV).

When  viewing pornography and masturbating a man forms a fantasy, pseudo  relationship within his mind. Fueled by lust with results of sexual  hyper stimulation, a porn addict comes to know first hand, no pun  intended, that his ability to achieve a hard erection and orgasm is an  easy goal. His grand slam solo sex life leaves not an ounce of doubt in  his mind. Thus, the tempters relationship snare is set when the bait of  pornography becomes one's source of sexual gratification.

 Ultimately,  pornography is covetous, idol worship. As pornography viewing,  masturbating and orgasm, becomes one's life focus, source of comfort,  companionship, and support (Colossians 3:5, 1st Thessalonians 4:3-8).

Cyber  representations of sex do not include the male-female attraction bonding  God intended and serve to desensitize one's ability and desire to bond  in a committed loved based relationship as two become one flesh. Self  discipline is exchanged for self indulgence. Service to self is of  foremost importance to the blind mind caught in the web of sex and  pornography addictions snare. It is a fact of life that any good  relationship requires a lot of work. The sex addicts' relationship with  pornography is no exception to this rule. 

Pornography viewing time,  attention, desires, grow to fuel the need to develop and achieve new  sexual plateaus levels. These obsessive, escalating desires feed a cycle  of repeated self gratification, satisfaction, and stress relief, which  serve to change nero-chemical brain function. 

Logic is long gone  under the grip of such powerful, mind altering, neuro-chemical changes. I  have witnessed this sin grip first hand, as I have seen Ryan, my ex, go  into a “sexual dissociated trance” when even thinking about viewing  pornography.   He too experienced erectile dsyfunction at times due to  pornography viewing and masturbating addiction. 

Several women I have met  in sex addiction support groups admitted witnessing this same evil,  intoxicating, cause and effect while confirming sex and pornography  addicts made “horrible lovers”.  Vast witness and testimony made in  online forums and blogs by partners of sex-porn-masturbation addicts  confirm these same "horrible lover" complaints. 

When viewing porn,  the mind, body, soul of the sex addict seemed to be taken over as if  possessed! When we live outside of God's will, we suffer (John 10:10).  And for many men, suffering the result of erectile dysfunction due to  one's pornography addiction habits is now a clinically proven result of  indulging in this sin's pleasure. Going limp, unable to preform like the  self proclaimed studs one views in pornography productions can often  leave a man with serious insecurities. 

Likewise,  when a man can't finish the sexual act some woman are plagued with self  doubt thinking they are the cause. To paraphrase what several woman  have admitted to me before dialing the number of the nearest plastic  surgeon, “Maybe if I looked as hot as Ms. Porn, he could maintain his  erection and our sex life and relationship would improve”. 

ED issues aside,  even if a woman were to have larger natural breasts than Annie Hawkins  Turner (aka Norma Stitz – USA), or augmented breasts as big as Maxi  Mounds, with a derriere as large as Kim Kardasian, a sex fantasy addict  would not be sufficed for long!

 Further more, it doesn't matter how hot  or beautiful a woman may be in accordance with psychosocial standards,  sex addicts desire escalating, new experiences. Often having had sex  with a woman one time, the thrill of the ritualistic, sexual hunt is  long gone. As has often been admitted to me by many pornography, sexual  fantasy addicts. 

“What we seed we feed, and what we feed we become.” - Synthia Esther.

As addiction needs  continue to escalate an addict often becomes desperate, willing to  exchange most everything to stabilize their withdrawal pain. Bernell  Christensen, “Giving Up Everything for Porn – It's in Your DNA”, is  quoted as stating, “Research shows that many of the same  neuro-chemicals, biological and emotional processes activated during  [actual] physical sex are also tripped by porn viewing.” Which confirms  God's mind set, and spiritual revelation as well, “...anyone who even  looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery (Matthew  5:27-28). 

Christensen  explains, “Porn viewing releases many of the same chemicals triggered by  street drug use. Over time, these chemicals change the brain in  significant ways. Basically, the frontal lobes shrink and become  increasingly handicapped. This is part of the brain that controls  reasoning, logic, values, goals, self  discipline, self-restraint and will power. At the same time, the Limbic  System of the brain has one narrow focus – the intense pursuit of  instant pleasure and reward at the cost of everything else... Bent on  getting the pleasure rush of porn...this is what the Limbic System says  to the Frontal Lobes – I don't care if you lose your job, your marriage,  your future or anything else! I want what I want and I want it NOW!”

Dr.  Abraham Morgentaler, Director of Men's Health Boston and Clinical  Professor of Urology at Harvard Medical School, confirms the erectile  dysfunction – pornography use link, “It's hard to know exactly how many  men are suffering form porn-induced ED. But it's clear that this is a  new phenomenon and it's not rare.”   Dr. Oz agrees, and devoted an  entire television show in 2013 addressing ED dysfunction due to  pornography use.

DOPAMINE RELEASE - THE MASTER MOLECULE OF ADDICTION

Dopamine release is  often cited as “the master molecule of addiction”. Leading sexual  addiction expert, Dr. Patrick Carnes, has written many books concerning  sexual addictions cause, effect, the Dopamine molecule connection, and  neurological changes within the brain.* In order for the addicts brain  to protect itself from the continual, over load of Dopamine production,  decreased Dopamine reactions occur. What was once exciting is no more,  thereby igniting the addicts desire to view more erotic, deviant porn,  thereby achieving the high longed for. 

Shame, guilt, remorse, follow,  which fuels the need to feed the seeded ritual pattern escalating the  cycle of addiction. 

Gary Wilson, “Your  Brain on Porn”, “Why Do I Find Porn More Exciting than a Partner?”,  explains: “Over time, this dual-edged mechanism has your reward  circuitry buzzing at the hint of porn use, but less enthused when  presented with the real deal.” 

The Italian Society of Androgyny and  Sexual Medicine, survey of 28,000 men, with head Carlo Foresta confirms,  “It starts with lower reactions to porn sites, then there is a general  drop in libido and in the end it becomes impossible to get an erection.”

Dr. Tyger Latham's  article in Psychology Today, published May 3, 2012, Therapy Matters,  “Does Porn Contribute to ED?” further substantiates the porn- erectile  dysfunction link. Dr. Latham is a clinical psychologist specializing in  men's issues, trauma, sexuality, and gender, who confirms several male  clients where concerned that their ED might be related to their frequent  reliance on pornography when masturbating.

 While Dr. Latham use to  think that a man's ability to get an erection and orgasm while viewing  pornography was by definition a rule out for ED. He now concludes such  clinical opinion to be “erroneous”, as anecdotal evidence lead him to  think otherwise. 

PORNOGRAPHY - FANTASY SEX ADDICTION IS A THRILL THAT KILLS YOUR SEX LIFE, FUELED BY AN INFLUENCING SATANIC SPIRIT (ACTS 5:3)

Science confirms  God's word concerning the addiction process being similar to a mind  altering, drug experience. A person is tempted when drawn away and  enticed by lust. Lust conceived and not placed under the authority of  Jesus Christ our Lord, will ultimately lead to death (James 1:14-15).  Death to one's soul (mind, will, emotions) when unable to stop acting  out their vice of addictions snare, releasing the Dopamine longed for  and desired. Which in turn contributes to loss of virility, and erectile  dysfunction. 

Death to one's spiritual connection occurs when the Holy  Spirit of God is quenched and Satan's influencing spirit is welcomed  (Acts 5:3). Death to relationships, jobs, security, self esteem, … .the  list is long and wide.

RECOVERY

A clinical  psychologist may help a person sort through some of life's problems, but  only God can heal a broken heart. By the powerful help from God's Holy  Spirit, one can over come their addiction to sex pornography and  masturbating reversing spiritual depletion and erectile dysfunction.  Perseverance to flee when comforted by sexual temptation, puts your walk  behind your talk, for faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). 

As  such, as confirmed by many psychologists, going “cold turkey” completely  eliminating pornography viewing and masturbation, can help short  circuit the chemical process of lust addiction. 

Biblical strategy  in defeating the addiction to lust informs us to remain alert (1 Peter  5:8), resist the devil (James 4:7), stand strong and firm (Ephesians  6:10-11), take God's escape route as provided (1st  Corinthians 10:13), lean on His word (John 1:1), and armor (Ephesians  6:10-18, Romans 13:14). 

God's word was used by Jesus to defeat Satan in  the wilderness (Matthew 4:4, 7, 10). As Paul confirmed, “We are more  than conquerors” in this life (Romans 8:37) If we do what Jesus did when  tempted, we will defeat the enemy. 

IN CONCLUSION 

According to God's  word, addiction is activated by free will as one seeks to fulfill  emotional and spiritual needs through a person, place, activity, and/or  thing, which becomes an idol in one's life, causing dysfunction and  ultimately, death. Science has now proven the mind is altered by sex and  pornography addiction cycling habits, producing long lasting, chemical  changes within the brain which can lead to male erectile dysfunction. 

We  know recovery from addiction to be possible by repentant, perseverance  in temptation, leaning on God's word and the spiritual armor He  provides.  And acceptance of His grace, mercy, and love (John 3:16-17)  which covers all past sin, guilt, and shame. Choice not chance  determines your success in reversing sex and pornography addictions  snare.

Additional Reference Notes:

* This is a very brief summary and personal overview of Dr. Carnes work and research.  

Copyright - 2007-2021, Synthia Esther.  All Rights Reserved.

RULING YOUR SPIRIT

By Synthia Esther

July 24, 2012 - Update: July 28, 2021.

Does having  abundant, plentiful sex provide your life with meaning?  In his book  "Fatal Flaws", W Publishing Group, Hank Hanegraaff confirms (page 7-8),   Aldous Huxley writing, "Like so many of my contemporaries, I took it  for granted that there was no meaning [to the world].  This was partly  due to the fact that I shared the common belief that the scientific  picture of an abstraction from reality was a true picture of reality as a  whole; partly also to other, non-intellectual reasons I had motives for  not wanting the world to have a meaning; 

consequently assumed that it  had none, and was able without any difficulty to find satisfying reasons  for this assumption." 

Huxley confirmed his motives,  "...the  philosopy of meaninglessness was essentially an instrument of  liberation.  The liberation we desired was simultaneously liberation  from a certain political and economic system and a certain system of  morality.  We objected to morality because it interfered with our sexual  freedom." 

 This same philosopy can be labeled towards one who shuts  down the Holy Spirit's inner witness and conviction, participating in  sex and pornography acts.  The end result of feeding your flesh  desires?  Life has no meaning outside of sexual pursuits, conquests, and  satisfaction.  Giving to Get becomes a self centered need, a drive that  consumes life itself. 

God confirms in His word, "He who hath no rule  over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without  walls" - Proverbs 25:28.  "He who is slow to anger is better than the  mighty, and he who rules his own spirit, than he who takes a city" -  Proverbs 16:32. 

 I am often asked, "How do I control my sexual addiction  and desires?"  

The "formula" for change in your life begins as you  allow God, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to rule and reign over  your spirit, which controls the flesh.  For "those who are led by the  spirit of God are called sons of God" - Romans 8:14. 

God has promised to preserve His children and  never forsake them.  He knows every baby step you take towards Him.  His  desire is to help you, not to harm you.  "For I, the Lord your God,  will hold your right hand, saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you'" -  Isaiah 41:13.  "But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through  our Lord Jesus Christ" - 1st Corinthians 15:57.  "These things I have  spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you have  tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world" - John 16:33.   

When you move towards God, He will help you  rule your spirit and defeat the control sin has over your life.  "Fear  not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will  strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My  righteous right hand" - Isaiah 41:16. 

 God tells us that His strength is  made perfect in weakness..." 2nd Corinthians 12:9.   When you desire to  obey God's word, will, and ways, you can "Be strong and of good  courage, ....for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he  will not fail thee, nor forsake thee" - Deuteronomy 31:6.

At the end of your life you will not be  thinking of beating Sonny Nash's, May 27, 2012, self pleasure record,  winning the Masturbate - A- Thon (also known as Wank-A-Thon),  pondering, "if I could just watch one more hard core porn movie,  masturbate and orgasm."  Nor will you be thinking about how many men,  women, or children, you had sex with.  Instead you may find yourself  thinking from an eternal perspective about what happens to your soul  when you die.  

Make the decision to walk with God who provides truth and  meaning in your life while there is still time.  Seek God with a pure  heart while he may be found.  Then you too may come to know that "...The  rock of my strength, and my refuge is in God.  Trust in Him at all  times; ye people, pour out your heart before Him: God is a refuge for  us." - Psalm 62:7-8.  

Our Holy Father,

 Jesus Christ, proved His  strength on the Cross of Calvary.  It was the power of His shed blood  that provided sins redemption plan.  God demonstrates His own love for  us in this; While we were still sinners, Christ died for us - Romans  5:8.  

When you are tempted to act out sexual sins envision God's  Son, Jesus Christ, hanging on the Cross of Calvary.  C.S.  Lewis stated, "I believe in Christ like I believe in the sun, not  because I see it, but because by it I can see everything else."   Likewise, when you see the Son, knowing you were "blood  bought" everything, and everyone changes.  Then you too can "Stand in  the liberty of Christ and not be entangled again with yoke and bondage" -  Galatians 5:1. 

 Charles Spurgeon sums up authentic spirituality well,  "A Bible that's falling apart is usually owned by someone who isn't." 

Jesus Christ loves you - John 3:16-17.   Repent today, for tomorrow may be too late.

Copyright 2012-2021, Synthia Esther.  All Rights Reserved.